Help
by smish123
Summary: It has been three months since the tragic death of Jeff, and three months on Ethan is struggling. He is having nightmares about the crash and is being picked on by Cal. Will anyone realise in time? Will anyone save him? (UPDATED EVERY THURSDAY)
1. Nightmares and bullying

**Hey everyone! This is my first Casualty story so I'm not sure how well this will go and if I'll continue writing other stories. But here we go. This story is about Ethan and how he is struggling with life following the crash. Also this is going to be a Ethan/Lily romance :) Enjoy!**

 **Chapter one**

The ED was quiet, weirdly quiet! It had been 3 months since the car crash which claimed the life of Jeff, and some of the staff were still feeling the effect of it, especially Ethan. Ethan struggled sleeping, lack of sleep was mainly due to event that occurred, but a couple of weeks ago he started to struggle with meals.

Ethan got home from work late, he had just had the nightmare shift. He sighed deeply when he remembered Cal was on the late shift with him the next day. He made his way up to bed as he hadn't gotten much sleep for the past few days and he was running on caffeine drinks.

Ethan was very restless that night. He was having another nightmare but this time he couldn't get out of it.

"No, Lily! Help!" Ethan shouted in his sleep. Ethan shot up, wide-eyed and gasping for breath. After a while, he realised he couldn't get his breathing under control and went into a full-blown panic attack. He managed to knock his lamp off his bedside table which smashed on the floor. He was hoping Cal could help him. Suddenly, Cal ran into Ethan's bedroom.

"Hey, Ethan? calm down little bro. Take deep breaths in and out." Cal started rubbing small circles on Ethan's back to calm him down. After a couple of minutes, Ethan's breathing started to get under control.

"You okay?" Cal asked. Ethan nodded faintly and looked at Cal.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Ethan nodded and laid back on his bed. "Do you want to talk about it?" Ethan shook his head.

"I just want to go back to sleep. We're doing the late shift again so I want to be awake" Cal nodded and smiled before leaving to go back to his own room.

The next day Ethan woke at 2pm, Cal was in the kitchen eating lunch. Ethan slowly walked out of his bedroom, past Cal's bedroom, where he thought he was, and towards the kitchen. As he got to the door of the kitchen, Cal noticed him but his happy face soon went from happy to worried as he saw Ethan, very-pale faced and staggering to get to the table.

"Are you okay?" Cal said getting up to assist Ethan to the table.

"I'm fine!" Ethan shot back.

"Okay I was just asking. By the way Connie has asked us to come in early." Ethan groaned. "Something to do with staffing issues." Ethan nodded got himself a glass of water.

"What time do we have to be in for?"

"4 pm, she said we can leave earlier as we are going in early" Cal smiled at Ethan. "Are you going to eat anything?"

"No, I'm not feeling hungry" Cal smiled and went straight into teasing mode.

"aw, you going to lose a bit of fat so you can be like me?" Ethan smiled and nodded. He walked back into his room and got changed for work.

Cal and Ethan arrived at the ED at 3.45 pm. They entered reception and Cal started talking to Noel, Louise, Rita and Robyn whilst Ethan walked straight to the staff room, ignoring everyone around him.

"What's wrong with Ethan?" Rita asked.

"I don't know. He woke up due to a nightmare and he hasn't eaten yet. Can you keep an eye on him please, Rita?" Rita nodded and walked off towards the staff room. Rita spotted Ethan hunched over the counter.

"Ethan, sweetheart? Are you okay?" Ethan jumped a mile in the air.

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you." Ethan smiled at Rita and went off to find his first patient. Rita stood there, she knew something was wrong with Ethan but she didn't know what but she was going to find out though.

 **Hope you enjoyed the first chapter everyone! I will post the next chapter in a couple of days..**


	2. Not feeling great

**Oh my goodness, thank you soo much everybody for the reviews, Favourites and Follows, they made me smile so so much! I am glad you are all enjoying this :D**

 **ETWentHome- Thank you :) I agree, Ethan stories are great!**

 **Guest- Thank you :)**

 **Guest- Thank you :) I will try and update quickly!**

 **Becs2202- Thank you :) Yeah, Cal and Ethan are the best :D**

 **ProfessorElk- Thank you :)**

 **Chapter 2:**

Days passed and Cal was constantly picking on Ethan. Every day Ethan was getting comments like "Hey chubster" or "Hows the diet working out?"

In three days Ethan had eaten three slices of toast, and he was starting to feel the effects of it.

Cal knows that I'm the sensitive one in the family, why does he have to treat me like this? Ethan thought to himself. Ethan quickly got changed and went for a run.

I'm going to lose weight, I need to be thin so Cal won't pick on me any more.

Ethan ran for an hour around the town, he didn't want to stop though.

"Five more minutes" Ethan said to himself. His heart was racing but he wanted to burn off calories. He wanted to be thin so he could be liked more.

He ran to the ED for the start of his shift. He took a shower and got changed. He didn't want to work because Cal was with him again. He looked at himself in the mirror,

I'm fat, I'm disgusting. I really hate this. Ethan walked into the staff room and saw Lily.

"Hey Lily" Ethan said with a smile.

"Oh, hey Ethan. Don't forget you have a patient in cubicles that Mrs Beauchamp wants you and Cal to look at." Ethan groaned. He didn't like working the same shift as Cal, now he had to work together on a patient. This was going to be one long day.

"Thanks Lily. Um I was wondering if you wanted to go for a drink after work?" Lily smiled.

"Of course, that would be great. Meet you here after work?" Ethan nodded and went off to the patient in cubicles.

Ethan and Cal were working on a patient together in cubicles. Ethan was starting to feel ill from his run earlier.

"Mrs. Smith, I would like to send you for a chest X-ray. Ethan, shall we get this sorted?" Cal asked, Ethan stood with his eyes closed, taking deep breaths to clear the dizziness.

"Ethan!" Cal snapped which made Ethan jump. Ethan walked out of the cubicle and into reception. As he got into reception he saw Dixie walking down the stairs. He suddenly had images going through his mind from the crash and images of Jeff helping him. His breathing started to quicken and in no time at all Ethan was having a panic attack.

"Ethan?" Dixie asked as she started to run to him.

"I'm... so... sorry" Ethan said breathlessly.

"MAX, I NEED A TROLLEY!" Dixie shouted, Max ran and got a trolley. "Ethan, calm down. It wasn't your fault. Please, slow your breathing down."Dixie pleaded. Suddenly, Ethan collapsed to the floor but he was still conscious.

"Here's the trolley Dixie"

"Thanks, right after three lift him on the trolley and straight to resus. After three, one.. two.. three" They lifted Ethan onto the trolley and rushed him through to resus.

"Dixie? What's happened?" Zoe asked.

"Ethan collapsed in reception. He is having a panic attack." Ethan was scared. He didn't know what to do.

"I'll go and get Cal" Dixie said. Suddenly, Ethan grabbed Dixie's arm.

"No... Don't" Dixie smiled sympathetically at him and stayed with him.

"Okay Ethan, I want you to take deep breaths in and out. Follow me, in and out" Zoe breathed deeply with Ethan and after a few minutes, Ethan's breathing was back to normal. Zoe sat down next to Ethan.

"Now, what happened Ethan?" Zoe asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Ethan looked away. Zoe sighed, she didn't want to push him.

"Do you want me to get Cal?" Ethan shook his head.

"I just want to go back to work" Zoe smiled and shook her head.

"No can do Ethan, I want you to relax for a while. I'll get Robyn to get you some food."

"NO!" Ethan shot back. "I mean, no thank you Zoe. I'm fine really."

"No Ethan, I want you to eat something, you look ill" Ethan sighed.

"Fine, thank you."

Zoe left with Robyn and Dixie sat on the bed next to Ethan.

"Eth, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing, I'm just stressed over work. I'll be fine. I just need a good sleep." Dixie smiled and left Ethan.

A while later Robyn returned with some food and Ethan automatically tensed up.

"Here you are Ethan, Cheese sandwich, banana and crisps." Ethan smiled.

"Thanks Robyn. I'll take these to the staff room if you don't mind. I'd rather be there"

"Of course. I'll find you later." Robyn helped Ethan off the bed and smiled as he left resus. He entered the staff room and sat down on the chair. He took a look at the food given to him and sighed. He didn't want to eat it but then he started eating the food. After a couple of minutes he started getting thoughts in his mind.

 _You're fat_

 _You're disgusting_

 _You're a disgrace_

Ethan suddenly shot up and threw up in the sink. Just as this happened Rita walked in. She ran straight to Ethan's side.

"Ethan, sweetheart are you okay?" Ethan nodded. He stepped away from the sink and sat back down on the chair.

"Sorry Rita. That sandwich didn't really agree with me." Ethan lied.

"That's okay, I'll clean up here, you go and clean yourself up in the bathroom. Then you go home." Rita ordered. Ethan went to the bathroom and started cleaning himself up but when he was cleaning he started to get really light headed.

 _What's happening to me?_ Ethan thought. As he got his phone out to call Lily, he fainted and started convulsing.

 **Sorry for the cliffhanger everyone. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I will post chapter 3 tomorrow or Wednesday :) Reviews are most welcome! Byee x**


	3. Revelations

**Thank you so much everyone for the reviews :) you guys are amazing! Here's an update for everyone..**

 **JoTracy123- I'm glad you enjoyed it :) xx**

 **Guest- I'm really happy you are :)**

 **Becs2202- I know :( we hope Cal will notice ;)**

 **ETWentHome- Aww :) I'm good at cliffhangers ;)**

 **Chapter 3:**

 _Previously:_

 _What's happening to me? Ethan thought. As he got his phone out to call Lily, he fainted and started convulsing._

Ethan stopped convulsing after a couple of minutes but he was still unconscious. There was a pool of blood circling at his head, where he hit it on the floor when he fainted. Downstairs, Charlie was searching for Ethan, so he could help with a patient. He spotted Rita at reception and walked over to her.

"Rita, have you seen Ethan? I need him to look at the results of this patient"

"He went to staff bathroom to clean up, If he's not there then he's gone home I'm afraid."

"Why? What's wrong with him?" Charlie asked worriedly.

"He was sick in the staff room." Charlie frowned and nodded. He walked upstairs and in the direction of the staff toilets.

Charlie knocked on the door of the toilets. "Ethan? are you in here?" Charlie didn't get an answer so he went in the toilets. He found Ethan lying on the floor unconscious and quickly went to Ethan's side.

"Ethan? It's Charlie, can you here me?" Charlie got no response and hit the emergency button on the wall. In no time at all, Rita and Zoe ran into the toilets with Max following with a trolley.

"What on earth has happened?" Rita asked, shocked.

"I don't know. I found him like this." Charlie said worriedly.

"We need to get him into RESUS" Zoe ordered. They lifted Ethan onto the trolley and wheeled him down to RESUS.

"Can someone find Cal, please!" Zoe ordered. Robyn ran off to find Cal. As she left the room, Ethan started fitting again.

"Okay, I need some diazepam. Ethan, you're going to be okay"

After a couple of minutes Ethan stopped fitting and he was starting to come back round. He felt sick to the stomach that he made people worry.

"Zo... Zoe?" Ethan asked as he came round. He tried sitting up but was immediately told to lay down again.

"Cal's on his way, Ethan" Ethan shook is head vigorously.

"No, he can't see me like this" Ethan whispered. He was upset that Cal would see him weak.

"Too late I'm afraid." Zoe looked towards the door as Cal came in. He ran to Ethan's side.

"Ethan? What's happened?" Ethan looked away. He was felt like a disappointment.

 _You're not worth it_

 _You're useless_

"He was found in the staff toilets, unconscious. We brought him in here and he started fitting. We're going to run some tests." Cal looked shocked at the information that was just given to him. "Also Cal, this is the second time Ethan has been in here today." Cal's eyes went wide with shock.

"What? What happened?" Cal asked.

"He had a panic attack earlier, he was fine so we let him go." Cal nodded but he knew there was something not quite right.

"What happened Eth?"

"I felt weird. I don't really know what happened."

"Are you trying to scare me again? Please stop doing this me. I'm going to have a heart attack at this rate." Cal said jokingly. After a couple of minutes of silence between the pair, Lily walked into RESUS.

"Ethan?"

"Sorry Lily, I suppose we'll have to rearrange that drink" Ethan smiled at Lily but frowned when he started to feel unwell again.

"Ethan?" Cal asked worriedly.

"I don't feel too good" Ethan whispered.

"He's bradycardic and blood pressures dropping. What's going on?" Robyn said. The team were getting increasingly worried. No one knew what was happening.

"I think... Whoa he's gone into respiratory arrest. We need to do artificial respiration now" Cal ordered. Lily stood in shock.

"Cal, you can't treat him. You can stay in here but you have no input in his treatment whatsoever do you understand?" Cal nodded. Zoe smiled and turned to Charlie. "Charlie, can you start artificial respiration and Robyn, you chase up the blood test results"

Cal grabbed onto Ethan's hand, tightly. "Please, breathe Ethan" Cal pleaded. Suddenly all the monitors started beeping frantically.

"He's gone into cardiac arrest, I'll start CPR. I need the scissors." Robyn cut through Ethan's scrub top. When Ethan's shirt was completely ripped, a gasp and a look of horror clouded everyone's faces. Cal and Lily both looked at each other. They were both shocked to see how thin Ethan was and how he could have kept it from them and how they didn't notice something was wrong.

"NO NO NO! Ethan why?" Cal shouted in horror.

"Zoe, lab results have come back. Severely low sodium levels." Zoe nodded in understand.

"Okay, I need a sodium drip please and we need to treat this dehydration of his." Zoe ordered. The machines started beeping normally again.

"He is back in normal rhythm but still no respiratory output." Charlie said.

"Right, we'll intubate him if there is not output in five minutes" Zoe walked over to Cal and Lily. "I think we are dealing with Anorexia Nervosa. Cal, what does he eat at home?" Cal sighed.

"He doesn't eat meals at home, he hasn't done for weeks. All that I've seen him eat the past few days is toast. He doesn't eat with me."

"He tensed up when I brought him sandwiches earlier" Robyn interrupted.

"Okay, I think he has anorexia." Zoe turned to Cal, "We'll help him Cal, trust me" Zoe smiled sympathetically and went back to Ethan's side.

"Charlie, it's been ages. We need to intubate him" Charlie nodded and started preparing Ethan for intubation.

"Cal, he's gone into a coma. I'm sorry" Cal let a tear fall from his eyes and turned to Lily who had started crying. Zoe, intubated Ethan and put him on mechanical ventilation. They wheeled Ethan to ICU and Cal stayed with him. Zoe sat opposite Cal and smiled sympathetically at him.

"Do you know why this might of started?" Zoe asked.

"He's been so withdrawn after the incident with Jeff. I think he felt it was his fault"

"But it wasn't, he did nothing wrong."

"I know, he just doesn't see it like that. Also, he started dieting. It was my fault. I've picked on him too much in his life and now we're paying the price." Zoe got up and squeezed his shoulder and left. Lily came into the room a couple of minutes later and sat down in the recently vacated seat.

"Please get better Ethan. Please come round" Lily pleaded. "I love you Ethan, I couldn't bear losing you" Lily broke down in tears and walked out the room.

"I'm so sorry Ethan, this is all my fault." Cal sobbed into Ethan's blankets "I know this is because of me. Please, just come back to me little brother. I can't lose you again" Cal pleaded. He watched Ethan for ages and suddenly, he broke down in tears.

 **Chapter 3 done :) I watched born lucky again today and so I got inspiration from Cal/Ethan scenes in that episode! Hope you enjoyed it! I'll update in a couple of days :D x**


	4. Acceptance?

**I'm so sorry for not updating this in ages, I haven't had time to unfortunately! But here is an update! Thank you everyone for your awesome reviews! without you guys I couldn't keep this story going! Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **Chapter 4**

Days had passed and there was still no response from Ethan. Cal had only left his bedside a couple of times but he hated leaving his brother. Everyone in the ED feared for Ethan, nobody knew whether he was going to come out of his coma or whether he would get better but most people had faith in him.

Cal entered Ethan's room after collecting some of Ethan's stuff for when he woke up. Cal sat at Ethan's bedside, he held Ethan's hand in a firm grip. He couldn't lose him, he kept holding on to him to make sure Ethan knew he was there.

"Hey Ethan, I brought you some stuff. Only books and your laptop but it will all be there for you when you wake up" Cal paused hoping he would get a response but he didn't. Cal sighed.

"When you were in here after the crash and I said those things, I meant every word. You are my safety net. I'm not joking Ethan, without you, I don't know what I would do." Cal wiped a tear from his eye.

"You're my baby brother, okay we have our ups and downs but all siblings do, but I couldn't bear losing you. You are all I have left Ethan. I need you." Cal tightened his grip on Ethan's hand.

"When you wake up, we will get you help. I'll stick by you through thick and through thin and we'll get through this together. I will never leave you. Just, wake up. Please" Cal started sobbing. He put his head down on the bed and cried. After a few minutes of crying, he heard a choking sound and then Ethan's machines started beeping erratic. Cal shot his head up and pressed the emergency button on the wall.

"Ethan, if you can hear me, try and calm down. It's the ventilation tube. Someone will be here any second." In no time at all Zoe walked quickly into Ethan's room with Tess and Lily in tow.

"Zoe, you need to help him please." Zoe nodded and looked at Tess.

"Come on Cal, outside whilst we help Ethan. you know the rules." Cal shook his head forcefully.

"No, i'm not leaving!" Cal shouted. Zoe turned around, "You need to wait outside, now" she said sternly. Cal eventually left the room and looked at what was happening through the doors of the room.

"Ethan, it's Zoe. We're going to remove the tube from you now. You'll feel a slight sting." After a couple of seconds, Ethan was free of the ventilation tube.

"Welcome back Ethan, I'm going to give you a mild sedative to help you relax and then when you feel up to it we'll start thinking of treatment for you." Zoe put the sedative in Ethan and he fell back to sleep almost immediately. Lily put an oxygen mask on him and they finally left the room so Cal could return to Ethan.

Cal sat back in the chair he recently vacated, he spoke to Ethan again but he knew maybe this time he couldn't hear him.

"Welcome back little brother. I know you can't hear me but I have missed you. I thought something was wrong just then when your vitals went haywire but it was just you waking up. I thought this time I was going to have a heart attack." Cal smiled.

"When the sedative wears off, we'll definitely be getting you some help. We want the old Ethan back now." Cal laid his head on the bed and fell asleep. He was exhausted watching Ethan night and day.

several hours later, Cal awoke to groaning coming from Ethan. Cal rushed to his side.

"Ssh, it's okay Ethan. Keep waking up" Ethan started opening his eyes and Cal smiled.

"Welcome back little brother" Ethan smiled weakly at him.

"Have you panicked yet?" Ethan whispered, Cal laughed and sat back at his bedside.

"Well, a couple of times. How do you feel?"

"Weak. What happened?" Ethan started closing his eyes again.

"Ethan, wake up for me" Cal ordered, he didn't want Ethan going back to sleep yet. Ethan reopened his eyes and smiled at Cal.

"You collapsed and started fitting. You went into respiratory arrest and your body shut down. Its been six days since it happened. I've been so worried." Tears started forming again in Cal's eyes but he refused to let them fall.

"I'm so sorry." Ethan whispered. Cal shook his head firmly.

"It's not your fault. You're not well. We'll get you help." Ethan shook his head. He was adamant he didn't want help.

"No Cal, I don't need help."

"You do Ethan, everyone knows." There was a knock at the door and Cal turned around to see Lily and Zoe at the door.

"We've just finished our shift, so we came to see Ethan." Ethan smiled.

"Hello Zoe. Hey Lily." Lily gave Ethan a hug and sat in the second vacated chair in the room.

"Ethan, we want you to get help. We know what's happening. We've diagnosed you with Anorexia Nervosa."

"I'm not Anorexic, don't say that. It's not true. There's nothing wrong with me" Ethan whispered sharply. His heart rate started increasing and Cal tried to calm him down.

"Ssh Ethan, we're just trying to help you. You need to calm down. Please Ethan." Cal pleaded. Ethan was getting more stressed.

"No, there's nothing wrong with me. Why don't you believe me?" Lily started sobbing.

"We'll find out in a couple of days, when we think your body is ready to accept food." Zoe said calmly, both she and Cal saw Ethan tense up when Zoe mentioned the word food.

"I'm fine, there's..." Ethan was cut off when he threw up in a bowl. Cal rubbed his back whilst Ethan was sick.

"We'll see how you are in a couple of days. Anyway, I better go. Sleep well Ethan." Ethan nodded faintly. Zoe and Lily left the room and Ethan started crying.

"What's wrong with me Cal?"

"You're not very well, but we will help you but first you need to accept you have a problem." Ethan sighed.

"I don't have a problem. I'm fine." Ethan shouted. Cal shook his head.

"You're not fine Ethan. Look at yourself, you're ill. We are going to admit you full time and we are going to get you better." Ethan's breath hitched.

"NO! I'm not being admitted when there's nothing wrong with me" Cal shrugged his shoulders.

"Okay, we'll speak to Zoe tomorrow"

 **Thank you everyone for reading this chapter! I apologise again for the lateness of this chapter! I will update again tomorrow or Thursday! Please review, thank you x**


	5. Why?

**Hello everyone, I'm back with an early update for you all! Thank you everyone for the amazing reviews, you guys are absolutely awesome and thank you everyone for reading this as well, I hope you are all enjoying it ;) Also, thank you everyone who has favourite and followed this story since it has started, I hope you will all enjoy the upcoming chapters! Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 5**

It was a couple of days after Ethan woke up from his unconscious state and Cal was trying to get Ethan some help but Ethan wanted to go home. Ethan was sitting up in his bed playing with the remote control that controls his bed. He was bored, he just wanted to leave.

Cal re-entered the room and Ethan's face lit up.

"Right mister, Zoe will come up and speak to you in a minute but before she does, how are you feeling today?" Ethan shrugged.

"I'm not really sure, my stomach hurts and I feel a bit dizzy but I'm okay. Can I go home now?" Cal sighed, he wasn't sure what to.

"Can you eat something for me please?" Ethan shook his head violently. He couldn't, he didn't feel like he could. "Ethan, you really need to."

"No! I won't" Ethan shouted. Zoe walked in; she was shocked at Ethan's shouting.

"Ethan, can we talk please?" Ethan nodded and smiled at Zoe. He had his fingers crossed. He really wanted to go home.

"Right, I will discharge you and you are free to go home but, you need to rest and eat. Your body has been through so much this past week. Before you go, I want you to step on the scales. You won't be able to see the result. Can you stand long enough? Ethan nodded but he started shaking. He kept thinking to himself, what if he put on weight?

Cal assisted Ethan from the bed over to the scales and helped him onto them. Zoe wrote down the result and helped Ethan back to his bed. She smiled at Ethan and motioned for Cal to leave the room with her.

"So, what was his weight?" Cal asked. He was worried. Ethan had lost a lot of weight in the past week because he was ill.

"Cal, I will let Ethan go home under your care but if he gets worse you bring him back here or you phone me" Zoe ordered.

"Of course, but you didn't answer my question Zoe." Zoe sighed and shook her head.

"It's bad cal, he only weighs eight stone and two pounds. 51 kilograms Cal. For someone his height his BMI is only 16.2. I'm giving him this chance, if he doesn't put on at least 6 pounds by when I next see him or if his weight drops by 3 pounds I will admit him again, unless he admits he has a problem." Cal nodded; still shocked after the flow of information he received in his brain. He re-entered Ethan's room to find Ethan lying flat on the bed, breathing heavily.

"Ethan, what's wrong buddy?" Cal said worriedly. He checked Ethan's pulse only to find it fast.

"I'm so cold, can I go home now?" Cal smiled at him.

"Sure, we'll get you in this wheelchair and I'll take you home." Cal helped Ethan into the wheelchair and collected his stuff. He wheeled Ethan downstairs and through the ED. Rita walked up to them before they left.

"You look a lot better than you did last week Ethan. We miss you; the ED is not the same with the amazing Doctor Hardy." Ethan smiled and looked up at Cal. "We'll see you soon Ethan. Get better soon sweetheart"

"Thanks Rita, oh when you see Lily could please tell her that I need to talk to her." Rita nodded and they left the ED.

"Right, here we are." Cal helped Ethan up from the wheelchair but stopped when Ethan started to breathe heavily.

"Ethan? Do you feel okay?" Ethan nodded but Cal knew he was lying.

"Yeah, I'm just a bit dizzy" Cal helped Ethan into the passenger seat of his car and took the blood pressure out of his medi-kit.

"Eth, your BP is a low. I really need to get you back into the ED"

"Please Cal, just take me home." Cal nodded and packed up his bag. They were soon off home. After a short drive, they arrived home. Ethan sighed in relief. He just wanted to be on the sofa catching up on doctor who.

"Come on buddy, let's get you inside." Cal assisted Ethan into the house and they sat on the sofa.

"I'm going to make some dinner."

"I'm okay for food thanks" Cal sighed.

"Ethan, you have to eat something."

"No, I don't want anything."

"Please Ethan! I need to help you!" Cal shouted. Ethan's breath hitched and Cal grimaced when he realised Ethan was ill and he couldn't help it. "I'm sorry Ethan; I didn't mean to shout at you. If you don't want anything to eat, do you want a fruit smoothie?" Ethan shook his head. Cal sighed, he didn't know what to do, and he didn't know if he could cope. Cal walked into the kitchen and phoned Zoe.

"Hey Cal, what's wrong?"

"I need help Zoe, Ethan's in denial about everything. He's now just refusing to eat. I can't even get him to drink a fruit smoothie. I really need help."

"Okay Cal, listen to me carefully, I'm going to speak to Doctor Williams, he is a psychiatrist and if you can't get Ethan to admit to his problem then we'll admit him. But, we'll try and get him to come voluntarily if not you what we'll do."

"Okay, thanks Zoe. I'll text you tomorrow if there's any progression." Cal put the phone down and quickly made Ethan a salad. Cal was hoping that he could eat it but he wasn't getting his hopes up.

"Here we are Ethan, a salad."

"Thanks" Ethan whispered. He started to eat little bits of it but stopped after he ate one lettuce leaf.

"Ethan, we need to talk about this." Ethan looked at Cal, unsure what to say.

"About what Cal"

"You know what, we know you have an eating disorder so please let us help. Can I take you back to hospital?"

"No! There is nothing wrong with me." Ethan said with his teeth gritted together.

"Please Ethan. Can you tell me what's going on through your mind?" Ethan sighed and tears started forming in his eyes.

"I'm just fat and horrible" Ethan said angrily.

"You are not fat Ethan, you were perfect. I know you were still having ups and downs since the car crash but everyone will get them. Just one more question, how did this start?"

"Well, I'm stuck in the ED all the time eating high calorie food and not doing any exercise at all. You always seem to keep yourself fit. After the incident with Jeff and the car crash and we were hurt, everything just got to me. I felt better when I started cutting down on food and I started purging. I never told anyone this but, when I was at school, I was constantly being called 'podgy' or fat. Sometimes you say that to me but I've learnt to live with it but sometimes I can't deal with it."

"It's my fault. I am so sorry Ethan!" Ethan embraced Cal in a hug and started crying.

"Ethan, will you go to hospital and get better?" Ethan shook his head.

"I can't. I want to stay here. I will get better I promise." Cal smiled sympathetically at Ethan but he knew deep down he was lying.

 **Thank you everyone again for reading ;) I will be updating again tomorrow or Friday. Please review, thank you x**


	6. More problems and Help is here

**Hello, everyone I am back again with an update probably the last one for this week I'm afraid but I'll make sure I will have two updates for you guys next week ;) I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed, favourite and followed you guys are just brilliant and I couldn't carry on without any of you!**

 **Tato Potato- Aww thank you, I think it would something different! ;)**

 **Becs2202- Thank you ;) Even though it is easy to write I still have to do research ;)**

 **Tanith Panic- Aw ;( I know it's sad trying to write it like that as well. Thank you x**

 **ETWentHome- Thank you ;) I hope so too ;)**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Chapter 6**

Ethan had fallen asleep on the sofa the following day; he was exhausted and he felt weak. The following morning, Ethan went upstairs to find his Lucozade energy tablets, he wanted to do exercise but he knew without them, he would have no energy. He quickly ate 3 energy tablets and made his way to his cupboard, where he hid his cycling machine. He was determined to do exercise. He quickly set up the bike and started doing his exercise to burn of the calories from the energy tablets.

" _Need to lose a couple more pounds"_ Ethan thought when he was cycling.

"Stupid Cal, stupid Zoe, thinking there's something wrong with me. There's nothing wrong. I just want to lose a little bit of weight." Ethan muttered to himself. He pushed himself to the limit. He suddenly stopped when he started getting dizzy but he didn't want Cal to know. It was too late though, Cal knocked on his bedroom door but before Ethan could hide his cycling machine, Cal walked into Ethan's bedroom and stood in shock at the sight in front of him.

"What the heck are you doing?" Cal asked angrily. He didn't have a clue how Ethan could exercise when he wasn't eating anything.

"Exercising, I'm aloud too." Cal sighed; he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Ethan, you're not eating anything. Please, can you eat something?" Ethan shook his head and got off the cycling machine. As he did, he stumbled over to his bed. Cal managed to catch him before he fell.

"Are you okay?" Cal asked worriedly, he saw Ethan's face go pale when he stood up. Ethan nodded faintly.

"Eth, I have to go to work for an hour or so, Mrs Beauchamp wants me to do some paper work. Will you be okay on your own or you can come with me? I won't be long; hopefully I can take the paperwork home so I should only be 30 minutes." Ethan nodded and walked downstairs to the lounge. Cal followed, not wanting Ethan to fall down the stairs.

"I'll be as quick as I can Ethan. Promise me you won't use the exercise machine?" Ethan nodded and smiled.

"I promise, just be quick Cal, I thought we could watch a film today." Cal smiled. This was the Ethan he remembered.

"Of course little brother, you pick the movie and I'll be back ASAP." Cal left the house and made his way to work as quickly as he could. He didn't like leaving Ethan because of what he was going through.

Ethan heard his stomach rumble so he walked into the kitchen and raided the fridge. He took out some high fat and calorie foods and ate them quickly. Suddenly, Ethan stood up and threw up in the sink.

" _You're a disgrace, you're pathetic"_ He thought to himself. He made himself sick again and again until he couldn't do it anymore. He put all the food back into the fridge and made his way upstairs. He wanted to exercise but he couldn't break Cal's promise.

" _Do it, you need to exercise"_ He thought. In the end, Ethan got on his exercise bike and kept cycling for 30 minutes. He got off the bike and started to walk downstairs. As he got to the bottom, his vision started to become blurry and he fainted at the bottom of the staircase.

Cal was on his way home, he kept thinking to himself about how Ethan may have broken his promise. When he got home, he gathered all the paperwork from the car and made his way to the front door. As he opened the front door, he found Ethan on the floor. Cal quickly put his paperwork on the floor and when to Ethan's side.

"Ethan, can you hear me?" Cal asked. There was no response. Cal ran and found his medical bag and got out his blood pressure monitor. He took Ethan's blood pressure and swore when he found it to be very low.

"Ethan, you need to wake up. Rise and shine." Ethan's eyes started flickering and soon enough he was conscious again.

"What happened?" Ethan whispered. He still felt a bit dizzy but he wasn't going to tell Cal.

"You fainted. Can you remember falling down the stairs when you fainted?"

"N-no, I didn't" Ethan stuttered. Cal breathed a sigh of relief and helped Ethan up and into the lounge.

"I'm going to get something to eat, are you okay with that?" Ethan nodded and put on the TV. He then realised what happened earlier and panicked. Cal went into the fridge only to find some of the food missing and some half eaten. He looked in the bin and found some half eaten food in there. Cal came to one conclusion. Ethan made himself sick. Cal walked back into the lounge to talk to Ethan. He didn't want to push him too far.

"Ethan, why is there half eaten food in the fridge?" Ethan sighed.

"I don't know" Ethan couldn't look at Cal.

"You made yourself sick didn't you?" Ethan's eyes stung with tears but he refused to let the fall. "You exercised as well, that's why you fainted."

"I didn't do anything Cal, I promise."

"Okay, I'll be back in a minute. I'm going to make myself some lunch." Cal re-entered the kitchen and phoned Zoe.

" _Hey Cal, what can I do for you?"_

"It's Ethan, I caught him exercising earlier and he was unconscious when I arrived home from work. Also, he made himself sick earlier. You have to do something Zoe, please" Cal pleaded.

" _I'm on my way over Cal; I'm going to bring Doctor Williams with me as well. I'm sorry but it's for the best."_

"Thank you Zoe. I'll see you in a bit" Cal put the phone down and made his way back to Ethan.

"How are you feeling Ethan?" Ethan shook his head.

"Why don't you lay down for a bit, have a sleep." Ethan nodded and lay down, he fell asleep almost immediately. Cal sighed. He hated seeing his brother like that. When Cal thought Ethan was asleep, he ran upstairs and packed some of Ethan's belongings. He knew what was going to happen. 15 minutes later Zoe knocked on the door. Cal put Ethan's stuff by the door and let Zoe and doctor Williams in.

"Hi Zoe, thanks for coming. He's asleep in the lounge." Cal shook Doctor Williams' hand and they went to Ethan.

"Ethan, I need you to wake up now." Cal shook Ethan's arm lightly and Ethan woke up. He sat up and sucked in a sharp breath when he saw Zoe and another doctor.

"What's going on, Cal?" Cal looked at Ethan with tears in his eyes.

"Ethan, this is Doctor Williams, he is a psychiatrist." Zoe said.

"Why is he here? I'm fine!" Ethan shouted.

"You're not fine Ethan, please let us help you." Ethan shook his head.

"Ethan, will you come to hospital with us? We want to make you better." Doctor Williams explained. He didn't want Ethan running a mile.

"No! I'm not even ill. Cal, I'm not ill am I." Cal didn't answer, he stood there, there were tears falling from his eyes.

"Ethan, this is the last time we will ask you. Please can you come in with us?" Zoe asked. Ethan shook his head. He just didn't want to go.

"Then I'm really sorry Ethan. Under section 3 of the mental health act, we are admitting you to hospital and you will be detained for the interests of your health. You need to come with us now Ethan." Ethan shook his head, tears falling from his eyes.

"No, you can't take me away. There's nothing wrong with me. Please, I want to stay here." Ethan pleaded. Cal helped Ethan up and led him out of the room.

"Ethan, it's for your own good. Please, do this for me?" Ethan didn't say anything. Zoe started crying. As they left the house, Ethan started to fight off Cal but was struggling due to lack of energy.

"Ethan, please calm down. It's for your own good little brother. I need you to get better. We've lost mum and I can't lose you as well." After a couple of minutes, Ethan fell on the floor in tears.

"Come on Ethan; let's get you into the car." Ethan nodded and Cal helped him into the car, followed by Zoe and Doctor Williams carrying Ethan's things. They drove to the ED and was met by Connie

"Good afternoon, Doctor Knight. Hello Ethan." Connie smiled sympathetically at Ethan. They walked through the ED. Ethan spotted Lily at the desk.

"LILY! You need to help me. They've sectioned me. They want to make me fat. You've got to help. You need to help me appeal against this. Lily, please." Ethan pleaded. Lily burst into tears. She couldn't bear seeing Ethan like that. Cal and Doctor Williams led Ethan into a private room.

"Ethan, sit down on the bed please. We need to talk about your treatment." Zoe said. Ethan did as he was told which surprised Cal.

"Ethan, you'll be here for a while until we can get you better. Cal will be allowed to see you but not for a couple of days until we get you settled in. So Cal, you can say goodbye to Ethan then we'll call you in a couple of days." Cal nodded and went to Ethan.

"I'm so sorry Ethan, please forgive me but I couldn't cope and you needed help." Cal's eyes were shining with tears.

"Please Cal, you're my brother. Don't leave me. I need you. I can't stay here." Ethan pleaded with Cal but Cal shook his help.

"I wouldn't have been able to cope. You'll be safer here. Just try it, for me?" Ethan nodded. "Bye Ethan, I'll see you in a couple of days." Cal hugged Ethan and left the room.

As he walked back through the ED, he could here Ethan shouting his name. It broke his heart but he did what he thought was best.

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 **Wow! That was the longest chapter ever! Thank you so much for reading, I hoped you liked it! Please review again ;) Thank you everyone! X**


	7. Things change

**Hello everyone, I'm back with another update :) Thank you so much for reviewing and reading this, I was really shocked when I had so many emails about this story. I can't thank you guys enough! ;)**

 **Tato Potato- I hope so too. I thought we could see a caring side to Cal ;)**

 **GypsyAbby- Thank you, I try my best ;) the ending was actually quite difficult to write because of the emotions!**

 **Becs2202- Thank you :D**

 **CBloom2- It's not nice for people to go through that, it is difficult to do that for someone ;)**

 **Guest- Thank you :)**

 **Paradoxilla- your review was most welcome! Sorry if I made you too sad!**

 **ETWentHome- Thank you :D Please try and breathe :D I'm getting this chapter out a few days early, found time in my schedule!**

 **Hope everyone enjoys this chapter! It's more like a filler chapter so I'm really sorry if it's a tad boring.**

 **Chapter 7**

Ethan was lying on his bed, bored out of his mind. He was becoming weaker as the days passed but he still refused to eat. Zoe and Doctor Williams were not forcing Ethan to eat until it became absolutely necessary. It was Ethan's second day in hospital and he was starting to miss Cal.

"Good morning Ethan" Rita greeted. She took note of how pale and weak Ethan looked.

"Where's Cal?" Ethan whispered. He didn't have enough energy to talk normally.

"He's on his way sweetheart. How are you feeling today?"

"Not good. Stomach and chest hurt." Ethan winced at the shooting pain. Rita smiled sympathetically and went to sit down next to Ethan,

"I'll get you some pain relief if you want?" Ethan shook his head.

"Can you eat something for me please?"

"No, I don't want to. Please don't make me, Rita." Rita nodded.

"Okay sweetheart, but we need you to eat something today." Ethan shook his head vigorously.

"I can't! Please, don't make me. I like it like this." Ethan started to get more worked up. Rita tried to calm him down but she wasn't having much luck. Suddenly Cal burst into the room.

"Ethan? Hey, what's up?" Cal soothed. Ethan immediately calmed down when he saw Cal.

"Cal, I've missed you. Please help me. They're trying to make me eat. I don't want to. I'm not hungry."

"Ssh, it's okay. I'm not going to force you." Cal gave Ethan a hug and Rita left them to it.

"How are you feeling?" Ethan shrugged his shoulders. There was silence between the two of them for a few minutes. Neither of them knew what to say to each other.

"Can we go out for a bit?" Ethan asked.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I don't mind, somewhere other than these walls. I want to see Lily." Ethan smiled at coping hoping he would say yes.

"Okay then, we'll have to take your IV line and you'll have to go in a wheelchair." Ethan nodded and started to get up with Cal's help. Ethan got into the wheelchair and Cal started to wheel him out. They left the room but were immediately stopped by Connie.

"Doctor Knight, where are you taking Ethan?"

"We're just going for a walk Mrs Beauchamp. Ethan wanted some air." Connie nodded in understanding.

"That's fine, as long you are not away for too long. I don't want him catching a cold out there." Cal nodded and wheeled Ethan to find Lily. They found Lily in the staff room, going through patient's notes and drinking her tea. When she saw Ethan she smiled brightly.

"Hello Ethan. It's good to see you." Ethan smiled and moved himself over to sit next to Lily.

"How are you today?" Ethan shrugged; he didn't know how he felt. Yeah he felt Ill but he didn't know how to tell anyone. He was constantly dizzy and he kept feeling like he was going to pass out but other than that he didn't know what else to feel.

"We need to arrange that drink again." Ethan said.

"Sure. You name a date and time and we'll go."

"Whenever I get released, I'm so bored. I've been here for two days and they won't let me do anything. I still don't know why I'm here." Cal sighed heavily. Ethan still hadn't admitted he had a problem but Cal knew that he was getting worse.

"They're only doing it for you Ethan."

"Doing what? They're not doing anything for me. Nobody's helping me get out of here." Ethan started to get worked up.

"Ethan, calm down buddy."

"No I won't calm down. Get me out of here Cal. I want to go back to my room." Ethan said angrily through gritted teeth. Cal wheeled Ethan out of the staffroom mouthing sorry to Lily as they left. As they got back to the room, Zoe was waiting with weighing scales. Ethan's eyes went wide and his breath hitched.

"No, no, no, why? Please, not today Zoe." Ethan pleaded. He didn't want to know how much he weighed.

"I'm sorry Ethan, I have to I'm afraid. It has to go on your chart." Ethan sighed in defeat and nodded. Cal helped him out of the wheelchair and over to the weighing scales.

"I don't feel to good Cal" Ethan whispered. Cal's looked at Ethan worriedly, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Ten more seconds, then we'll get you on the bed." Ethan nodded faintly.

"That's fine. Thank you Ethan. Let's get you back to bed." She saw how pale Ethan went. "Ethan, are you feeling okay?" Ethan shook his head. They quickly got him onto the bed and Zoe attached the monitors on Ethan.

"Ethan, you're slightly tachycardic and your blood pressure's a bit low. Do you feel dizzy?" Ethan nodded faintly before starting to fit.

"Whoa okay, can you try and keep him calm Cal, I need to try and stop this seizure." Cal nodded.

"Ethan, it's okay. You're fine, you need to calm down. We'll get you sorted." Cal soothed. Ethan, was still fitting.

"The meds are not working, Cal. We need to get him to RESUS now!" Zoe ordered. They raced Ethan to RESUS and picked up Charlie on the way.

"I'm going to call doctor Williams. Charlie, can you try and hold him please?" Charlie nodded and helped Cal.

"Alright Ethan. You'll be fine soon." Ethan stopped fitting but his blood pressure was still low.

"Zoe, the seizure has stopped but still low BP." Zoe nodded in understanding and she suddenly thought of what could have made Ethan have a fit.

"Ethan, can you hear me?" Ethan nodded faintly.

"I'm going to test your blood sugar levels." Zoe pricked Ethan's finger and waited for the results to come back.

"1.9, that's too low. Charlie, let's give him some glucose and we'll see if that helps." Ethan started to move to get away from the glucose.

"No, leave me alone." Ethan whispered.

" Eth, you need this. It will hopefully stop the seizures for a while." Ethan groaned and tried to wriggle away from Cal. Zoe motioned for Cal to step outside RESUS.

"Cal, this is getting bad. He's lost a couple of pounds since the last time. As he's been sectioned, we can do anything to help him with his recovery." Cal nodded. "We are going to start tube feeding him. Its for the best Cal." Cal couldn't say anything, he was shocked. Doctor Williams walked towards RESUS with his medical equipment, and all three of them entered RESUS. Ethan's breath hitched when he saw doctor Williams because Ethan was scared of him.

"Hello again Ethan. Zoe and I have been talking and we feel as part of your treatment we will be tube feeding you." Ethan shook his head and tried to get up from the bed but he couldn't.

"Please don't." Ethan whispered. Cal went to Ethan's side and held Ethan's hand.

"It's for your own good little brother." doctor Williams, Charlie and Zoe started to insert the food tube into Ethan, but Ethan started struggling and then he started to cry.

"No, please leave me alone. Get it out of me." Ethan started groaning and tried to get out of the grip of people's hands.

"They're nearly done Eth, a few more seconds. Just stay calm." The tube was finally placed and they left Ethan and Cal alone.

"I'm so sorry Ethan, you do know it was for your own good." Ethan shook his head and let tears fall from his eyes.

"Why are you punishing me, Cal?" Cal choked on a sob.

"I'm not, I promise. We just want to help you." Cal looked at his watch and sighed. "Ethan, I've got to go. But I'll be back tomorrow."

"Are you going to take me with you?" Ethan smiled a Cal. Cal's eyes started watering and he shook his head.

"I'm sorry Ethan. You need to stay here." Zoe and Charlie re-entered RESUS. "Charlie and Zoe will look after you until tomorrow." Ethan shook his head.

"No, you have to take me home. Please Cal." Ethan pleaded. Cal walked out of RESUS and went home.

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 **Thank you everyone for reading this ;) you are all amazing! Hope it wasn't boring... please review! I'll update in a couple of days. X**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello everyone, I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update this but I had some massive writer's block on this chapter! Anyway, Thank you all so much for the reviews, THEY WERE AWESOME! This chapter is going to be part one of two!**

 **ETWentHome- thank you for your review! I was so worried that is was boring. Thank you again!**

 **TheAtomicCheesepuff- Thank you for your review! I'm so glad you are enjoying this story :D**

 **CBloom2- Thank you for your review :D**

 **Guest- Thank you for your review. thank you for the compliment!**

 **GyspyAbby- Thank you for your review. I try to make it emotional/exciting :D**

 **Guest- Thank you for your review. I will try and make it longer :D**

 **xsarahx96- Thank you for your review. we hope!**

 **xcasualtyx- Thank you for your review. I like different :)**

 **LemonSherbet- Thank you for your review. Thank you for the compliment as well :D**

 **Hope you all enjoy this chapter :D**

 **Chapter 8**

 _Previously:_

 _"No, you have to take me home. Please Cal." Ethan pleaded. Cal walked out of RESUS and went home._

Cal didn't know what to do for Ethan any more. He knew he was in safe hands in the ED but deep down he knew that wasn't enough. Cal was scared that Ethan would never get better. Cal hadn't seen Ethan in a week because Zoe and Dr Williams told him that Ethan got too upset when he left. Cal walked into the ED to visit Ethan and was immediately aware that people were looking at him. He mind started racing with different thoughts.

 _"has something happened to Ethan?"_ Cal thought as he waked to Louise and Noel.

"Guys, have you seen Zoe?" Cal asked.

"Yeah, she waiting for you in Mrs Beauchamps office." Noel replied. Cal smiled at the pair and went to Mrs Beauchamps office. He knew there was something wrong. Cal entered the office and Zoe smiled at him.

"Zoe, what's wrong? What's happened to Ethan?" Cal asked worriedly.

"Nothing Cal, this is good news. Ethan has put on three pounds in the last week but we have been sedating him a couple of hours before meal times so he can't reject anything" Cal nodded and got up. He wanted to see Ethan. Zoe put her hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down onto the seat.

"Cal, Ethan still hasn't admitted he needs help and he still hasn't admitted he's got a problem."

"He told me he was fat and that he wanted to lose a few pounds" Zoe sighed and shook her head.

"Okay, thanks Cal. You can go and see him." Cal got up and went straight to Ethan's room. He walked in and found Ethan staring at the ceiling.

"Ethan? I'm here now" Cal smiled at him, hoping he would get a response.

"I thought you were never coming back" Ethan looked at Cal. "It's taken you a week to come to see me. Why Cal? Am I a disgrace? Are you disgusted with me that I'm in here? I'm your weak little brother that can't do anything right."

"I'm so sorry Eth. Zoe and Doctor Williams said it may not be a good idea for me to come. On the other hand, you are not a disgrace, I'm not disgusted with you and you're not weak. You're just ill and you need help." Ethan nodded and smiled sadly at Cal.

"How much weight have I put on then?" Cal shrugged, he didn't know whether to tell Ethan.

"Zoe said you can tell me" Ethan lied.

"um three pounds" Ethan gasped and shook his violently.

"No, this can't be happening. I'm going to get too fat. I need to get rid of this." Ethan ripped the IV line out of his arm tried to pull the food tube out of his nose. Cal tried to stop him but was having no luck. Cal's priority was to stop Ethan's arm from bleeding too much. He hit the emergency button on the wall and waited for assistance. Ethan managed to pull the food tube out but unfortunately it made him sick, luckily Cal put a bowl in front of him. Robyn ran into the room and gasped at the sight she saw in front of her. Cal's hands were covered in blood, pressing on the cut that the IV had caused and Ethan looked like he was semi-conscious.

"Cal, what's happened?" Robyn asked, still shocked at what she saw.

"Ethan pulled out his IV and the tube. He's been sick and I'm trying to stem the bleed." Robyn nodded and assisted Cal. Zoe came running in moments later and went to Ethan's side.

"Ethan, can you hear me?" Ethan nodded faintly.

"We'll stop the bleeding, then we'll get you sorted. Just keep those big brown eyes open for us." Zoe and Cal managed to stop the bleeding and wrapped Ethan's arm in a bandage. Zoe turned her attention back to Ethan.

"How are you feeling Ethan?" Ethan just shrugged. He was annoyed that he put on weight.

"Ethan, I've been talking with Doctor Williams and we've decided that you'll be better off in a treatment centre. We'll be moving you soon." Cal looked at Zoe, shocked. Ethan looked at Cal.

"When will I be going?" Ethan asked Zoe. Zoe sighed.

"I SAID WHEN!" Ethan shouted, still shocked that they're moving him.

"Today Ethan. I'm sorry, but we think you'll make more progress in a centre than here."

"No, all my friends are here. I'll be better here. Cal's here. Please, I'll get better." Ethan pleaded.

"I'm sorry Ethan. You have to go." Zoe said sadly. Ethan nodded sadly and looked at Cal with tears in his eyes.

"You'll visit me, won't you Caleb?" Cal smiled at Ethan and pulled him into a hug.

"Of course I will. When I'm not working, I'll be there" Zoe smiled warmly at them both.

"Doctor Williams will be here in a minute. He'll be driving you there." Ethan nodded and started getting up to get ready. Cal assisted him.

"I'll get your stuff ready then." Cal packed Ethan's stuff whilst Ethan sat on the edge of the bed, waiting to go. Doctor Williams came into the room a few minutes later.

"Good afternoon Ethan, are you ready to go?" Ethan nodded and turned to Cal.

"You promise me that you'll visit?"

"Of course I will. I'll be there with you." Cal helped Ethan into the wheelchair and wheeled him out towards the ED. Rita, Lily and Robyn stood there watching Cal and Doctor Williams leave with Ethan.

"Cal? What's going on?" Lily called as she ran after them.

"Zoe decided Ethan would be better in a treatment centre than here." Cal said, Lily embraced Ethan in a hug.

"Good luck Ethan. I'll come and visit you." Ethan smiled warmly at Lily and got into the car.

"I'll see you soon little brother. Be strong."

"I will Cal. I'll see you soon." They were soon off and Cal stood there, watching them as they went. He couldn't believe that Ethan was going to a treatment centre but he knew, deep down, it was for the best.

The journey was quite long for Ethan, even though it had only been 15 minutes. They got to a country road but as they were driving down it, a car crashed into the side of them and knocked them off the road. Doctor Williams was knocked unconscious but Ethan was conscious but had a cut to his head. He found Doctor Williams' phone and he quickly got out of the car and ran onto the road.

" _999, What's your emergency?"_

"Ambulance please. There's been a car crash off the new dual carriageway in Holby. It's down the country road, off the second exit." Ethan quickly put the phone down before they could speak again and tried to make his way away from the scene.

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 **Thank you everyone for reading this! I hope it was okay! Sorry again for the lateness! I would love to know your thoughts so please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello again everyone :) thank you all for the amazing reviews, I can't thank you enough! this is officially my longest chapter yet! Whoo! This is the second half of chapter 8 :) hope you enjoy!**

 **Chapter 9**

 _Previously:_

" _999, What's your emergency?"_

" _Ambulance please. There's been a car crash off the new dual carriageway in Holby. It's down the country road, off the second exit." Ethan quickly put the phone down before they could speak again and tried to make his way away from the scene._

Ethan staggered away from the crash scene and made his way back down the country road. He needed to get away and back to Cal.

In the ED, Cal was just getting ready for his shift when the dreaded red phone rang.

"Holby city ED" Charlie answered. He nodded and wrote the details down. He hung up the phone and turned to the staff.

"Okay listen up, there's been an RTA. a car has crashed off the Holby dual carriageway. One casualty. There's one unidentified male. The other car vanished from the scene. Ambulance control also said they may have been a second passenger because they found blood on the window, the passenger side but the passenger is no where to be seen. ETA 2 minutes." The staff nodded and waited for the RTA victim to arrive. The ambulance soon arrived and Zoe walked up to the door with Robyn and Lily. Iain and Dixie burst through the ED doors with the patient.

"Zoe, we have one unidentified male..." Zoe gasped when she realised who it was.

"Doctor Williams!" She said shocked.

"Right well he has a head injury, possible spinal injury after crashing his car, GCS was 9 at the scene dropped to 4 en route. He went into respiratory arrest. SATs are at 76%." Cal saw Doctor Williams being wheeled into RESUS and ran after them.

"Zoe? What's happened?" Cal looked at the motionless body and his mind began to wonder where Ethan was.

"He's been in an RTA. I think Ethan was there, but he's gone" Cal shook his head in disbelief.

" Zoe, I need to find him." Zoe nodded and Cal ran off to his car to find Ethan.

Ethan was tired. He knew he was no where near the ED but he had to get back there. He had a headache and he felt sick but he had to make it back to see Cal. He felt something warm trickle down his face, when he put his hand on it he realised he was bleeding from his head. He carried on walking, he couldn't stop. Not now.

Cal was driving fast around the roads by the Holby dual carriageway. Panic was rushing through him. He didn't know whether Ethan was unconscious or seriously injured. He got to the sight of the crash and saw how badly wrecked the car was. He raced out of the car and started to search the surrounding area.

"Ethan!" Cal shouted. When he didn't receive any answer he swore loudly and went back to his car and decided to search other roads around the car crash area. Cal searched for 10 minutes around the surrounding area and by this time tears started leaking from Cal's eyes. He was worried for Ethan. He was scared for his well-being. Cal turned into another road and ahead of him he saw a figure slouched over a ditch, vomiting into it. He recognised the figure as Ethan and sped up.

"Oh God, Oh God" Cal whispered as he saw Ethan stagger off. He stopped the car and quickly got out.

"Ethan!" Cal shouted. Ethan turned around and looked at Cal confused.

"Cal?" Ethan whispered. Cal nodded and smiled. He ran over to Ethan and quickly embraced him into a hug.

"What happened?"

"Car crashed into us. Thought it was going to happen again" Ethan looked at Cal with tears in his eyes, then his breathing started to get heavy. Cal shook his head.

"everything is fine buddy. Slow your breathing down." Cal helped Ethan to calm down. "Let's get you into hospital so we can get that head looked at." Cal helped Ethan back to the car. Cal rushed Ethan back to the hospital but when he looked at Ethan, he found that he was unconscious. Cal rushed out of the car to find a trolley but he found Iain and Dixie.

"Iain! I need some help!" Cal shouted. Iain and Dixie rushed over with a trolley.

"Ethan, can you hear me?" Cal received no answer.

"What's happened to him?" Iain asked.

"He was the passenger of the RTA earlier. I found him wandering around the back roads." Iain shook his head in disbelief. They quickly moved Ethan onto the trolley and raced him inside and straight to RESUS.

"Zoe, I've found Ethan." Zoe rushed over to Ethan and Cal.

"Okay, can we immobilise his neck please. Where did you find him?"

"A road near the scene of the crash." Zoe nodded her thanks to Dixie and Iain and started checking Ethan.

"How's doctor Williams?" Zoe sighed and shook her head.

"Swelling on the brain. He's been intubated. We won't know the extent of the damage until he comes round." Cal sighed and went back to Ethan. Zoe shone a torch in Ethan's eyes and Ethan started groaning in protest when the light violated his eyes.

"It's okay Ethan. We're just checking to see if you are okay" Zoe soothed. Ethan tried to move but realised he couldn't.

"M'okay" Ethan slurred. He had a banging headache and his chest hurt.

"Of course you are. Right, can we send him for a head and neck CT scan now" Zoe ordered. As the nurses rushed him the CT, Cal sat on the chair in the empty bay. He kept remembering the crash that nearly claimed his brothers life, 5 months ago. Zoe walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"He'll be okay Cal. As long as his head and neck are clear, we can keep him under observation tonight and you can take him to the clinic tomorrow." Cal nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Is it my fault?" Cal asked, Zoe looked at him confused.

"Is what your fault Cal?"

"That Ethan's like this? That he suffers from Anorexia." Zoe shook her head.

"No, its not your fault Cal. Don't blame yourself." Suddenly, Connie burst into RESUS.

"Doctor Knight, care to explain why you are not working?" Connie asked angrily. Cal was about to speak but Zoe beat him to it.

"There's been an RTA involving Doctor Williams and Ethan. Doctor Williams is in ITU and Ethan's in CT. So, it's not Cal's fault that he's not working." Connie stood there shocked at Zoe's outburst.

"Keep me informed on their conditions." Connie walked back out RESUS and into her office. Ethan arrived back from CT but he didn't look well.

"Ethan, how are you feeling?" Ethan just groaned. Cal chuckled and Zoe started cleaning up Ethan's head. By the time Zoe patched up Ethan's head, his CT results came back.

"What's the verdict doctor Hanna?"

"Well doctor Knight, Doctor Hardy's scan is clear. You are very lucky doctor Hardy." Ethan smiled and turned to face Cal.

"Thank you Cal" Ethan smiled at Cal but Cal looked at him confused. Zoe left the pair to talk.

"What for little brother?"

"For being there for me. For helping me."

"I'm your big brother Ethan, of course I'll be there for you." Ethan started groaning when the pain in his chest became more obvious.

"What's wrong Ethan?" Cal asked worriedly. Ethan groaned in pain in response. Cal slammed the emergency button and waited for assistance. He put an oxygen mask on Ethan and hoped that it was a bleed in his chest again. Zoe rushed into RESUS.

"Okay Ethan, where does it hurt?" Ethan pointed to his chest.

"We need the fast scanner now!" Zoe ordered. "It's okay Ethan, we'll get you sorted. We'll quickly do the scan and see what we're dealing with." They quickly did the fast scan and Zoe got the results.

"Its not a pneumothorax Ethan but it looks like the several fractured ribs are causing you the pain. We'll get you some painkillers and we'll move you into a room." Cal mouthed his thanks to Zoe and turned his attention back to Ethan.

"You're definitely trying to give me a heart attack." Cal joked. Ethan smiled weakly back at him. All he wanted to do right now was to sleep. Can started to move away from the bed when Ethan caught his attention again.

"Cal?"

"Yeah?" Can moved back to Ethan's side.

"Please help me" Cal looked at him, confused.

"With what?"

"Please help me get better. I know I have Anorexia but I want to get better. You need to help me though, send me to the treatment centre." Cal was shocked at Ethan's plea. "I just wanted to go on a diet but then I realised how fat I was. I enjoy losing weight it makes me feel good inside but I know it's bad for me." Tears started leaking from Ethan and Cal's eyes.

"I will help you, we'll get you better. I'll take you there myself and we'll go through it together." Cal embraced Ethan in a hug and after a few minutes, Cal heard Ethan snore quietly. Cal smiled and laid him on the bed. They wheeled Ethan into a private room and Cal slept peacefully on the bed beside his brother. The next morning Cal awoke to Ethan chatting quietly with Lily but he kept his eyes closed.

"I was so scared when I found out you were in another car crash. My heart dropped, I thought… well it doesn't matter what I thought. You're alive and well." Ethan smiled at Lily.

"You will come and visit me, won't you?" Lily nodded.

"Of course I will. I…" Lily took in a deep breath. "I love you Ethan. I really do love you. You make my heart flutter every time I see you. Without you, I don't where I would be." Lily and Ethan kissed but Cal interrupted them.

"Guys, really, I'm here you know" Lily blushed and Ethan looked shocked.

"I thought you were asleep" Ethan sighed.

"No little brother. Right, how are you feeling today?" Ethan shrugged and sighed.

"Fine, I just want to get out of here."

"We're moving you today. Lily, do you want to come with us?" Lily looked at Ethan. Ethan nodded.

"Okay, I will"

"Come on then, let's get you up and ready." Cal and Lily helped Ethan get ready to go. Ethan was scared, he didn't know what would happen to him in this place. His heart was thumping in his chest, he didn't want to admit that he was scared though.

Cal and Lily helped Ethan into the car and they went to the treatment centre. Cal drove a different way around so Ethan didn't have to see the aftermath of the crash. They arrived at the treatment centre but Ethan couldn't go in.

"Cal? I'm scared" Ethan sat in the wheelchair, trembling in fear.

"You will be Ethan, but you're getting help and that's the main thing. Come on."

Cal and Lily pushed Ethan's wheelchair into the reception.

"Good afternoon. Can I help you?" The receptionist said.

"Hello, my brother, Ethan Hardy is here to be admitted as an inpatient."

"Ethan Hardy, oh yes he is on the system. Let me get the consultant."

"Ethan Hardy?" The consultant said as she walked towards the three of them. Ethan went pale, the consultant looked like a young version of their mum.

"Hello, I'm Angela Smith. I'm the main consultant here. Let's go into my office." They Walked into the office and sat down.

"Now Ethan you're here because you have anorexia and you want to get help." Ethan nodded.

"Well done for coming here, that's the first stage of you getting better, wanting to get help. Now Ethan, this is an 8 week treatment programme and you'll be here for that period of time. If we feel you have made brilliant progress and are a healthy weight we can discharge you. If this is not the case then you'll be subjected to another 5 weeks of treatment. But, whilst you are here, we do not allow visitors or phone calls for the first 5 weeks of treatment. So any mobile phones will have to go home with your brother."

"But, I can't do that. Cal, please." Ethan pleaded.

"I'm sorry Ethan but it's for your own good."

"Now, we'll take you through to your room. You have to say goodbye to your brother now."

"Bye Cal, bye Lily, I'll miss you."

"Bye Eth, good luck. We'll see you next month." Cal and Lily hugged Ethan tightly.

"Good luck Ethan, I'll see you soon. I do love you." Ethan wiped a tear from his eye and smiled at Lily. He was going to miss them but he needed to get better.

"Thank you Cal and Lily. We'll call you if anything happens during his stay. Come on Ethan, let's go. Leave your bags in here as they will need to be checked by security." Ethan and Angela left the office. Ethan looked behind him and he had tears building up in his eyes. He waved goodbye to Cal and Lily and was wheeled into another room.

"Come on Cal, let's go." Lily said.

"Okay. He'll be safe here won't he?" Cal asked, he was scared for Ethan, he didn't know whether it was a good idea leaving him here.

"Of course he will. He's in the best possible hands."

Cal and Lily left the treatment centre and made their way back to the ED.

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 **Thank you for reading this, hope this was okay! Please review :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello everyone! I'm back with another update! Thank you all for reviewing the last chapter, i'm glad you are all enjoying it! What did you guys think of saturday's episode! I think i nearly had a heart attack when the needle went into Ethan! But protective Cal came into action, that was brilliant! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

 **Tanith Panic- thank you very much for your review ;) Same, Cal's protectiveness towards Ethan is lovely! I'm glad you like the story ;)**

 **sweeet-as-honey- thank you very much for your review ;) Hope you like this chapter :)**

 **ETWentHome- thank you very much for your review ;) You never know what's going on in Ethan's mind :O**

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 **xcasualtyx- thank you very much for your review ;) We have to hope!**

 **Chapter 10**

Ethan had been in the treatment centre for 4 weeks but nobody knew how he was getting on. Cal and Lily went back to work until they could see Ethan again. Cal was missing Ethan so much. Zoe wanted to know how Ethan was getting on so she could put Cal's mind at rest. She phoned up the clinic hoping to get answers.

"Hello, this is Doctor Hanna calling from Holby city hospital. I'm calling to see how one of your patients are doing. His name is Ethan Hardy."

"Good morning Doctor Hanna. Ethan's had some problems on the first week. He lost a lot of weight that week. He has done okay in the last few weeks but yesterday we did have to sedate him as he refused to eat and drink so we had to tube feed him." Zoe sighed, she thought the treatment centre would help Ethan get better, not worse.

"How is he today?"

"Okay actually. He has eaten his breakfast and he is now in with his psychiatrist and later he has his therapy session. He has put on 6 pounds in 2 weeks but we still want him to put on at least another 20 in the next month but the way he is going he may need to have an extra 3-5 weeks stay."

"That's good. Do you mind if I tell his brother?" Zoe hoped she'd say yes, just to put Cal's mind at ease.

"You may. Cal and Lily will be able to visit next week, so any time between 11am and 3pm will be perfect on any day next week."

"Perfect. I will tell them. Thank you very much. Goodbye."

"Goodbye Doctor Hanna."

Zoe disconnected the phone call and held her head in her hands. She couldn't believe Ethan had lost weight in the first week and that he had to be got up from her seat and made her way to find Cal. Zoe found Cal by the nurses station with Robyn.

"Doctor Knight, can you come into the office please." Cal went visibly pale, he knew it had to be about Ethan. He followed Zoe to the office.

"Zoe, what's wrong? Is it Ethan?" Zoe nodded, Cal sucked in a sharp breath. Was there something wrong with Ethan.

"I phoned the centre, to get an update on him. He had some problems on the first week. He lost a lot of weight that week. He has done okay in the last few weeks but yesterday they sedated him because he refused to eat and drink." Zoe looked at Cal, and found he was shaking.

"Cal, sit down." Cal sat on the seat, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"But he's okay now? Right?" Cal asked.

"He is now. He has eaten today. But I think they're watching him closely. But the good news that he has put on 6 pounds in 2 weeks." Cal sighed with relief.

"When can I go and see him?

"Next week. Any day between 11am and 3pm" Cal smiled, he couldn't wait. He decided Monday would be best because he really needed to see him.

Monday came really quick for Cal, he was excited to see Ethan but was scared because of what happened to him in the last few weeks. He knew Ethan wouldnt be better but he hoped he was getting better and accepting people's help. Cal went to find Lily, he knew she would like to visit Ethan.

"Lily, are you ready to go? We can't keep Ethan waiting." Lily smiled at Cal and made her way with him to the car. They arrived at the clinic 20 minutes later and walked into reception. Cal took a deep breath and hoped Ethan looked better than he did.

"Hello, we're here to visit Ethan Hardy. I'm his brother and this is his friend." The receptionist smiled at Cal.

"That's fine. Please make your way to the visitors lounge. Ethan will be with you shortly." Cal and Lily made their way to the room and waited patiently for Ethan. Ethan entered the room and immediately went to Cal. Cal embraced him in a hug.

"Cal, Lily, I'm so glad to see you." Ethan gave Lily a hug.

"I'm glad to see you too little brother. How are you feeling?"Ethan nodded and smiled.

"I'm feeling a lot better than I did." They went to sit down but a nurse entered the room.

"Ethan? Lunch is ready. Do you want to show your family to the visitors seating area? You can sit with them but I will have to accompany you and watch you." The nurse said.

"Thanks, come on guys follow me." Ethan took them to the visitors dining area. He saw what lunch was and stopped still.

"Ethan? Come on darling, you have to eat this." The nurse said. Cal and Lily didn't know what to do.

"Okay, I'm okay. Let's do this. you can grab a plate." Ethan sat down with Cal and Lily and the nurse was watching what Ethan was doing. Ethan kept feeling pressured. He hated it when people watched him eat. They started eating, but Ethan stopped after the first bite.

"Ethan, you need to eat more than that." The nurse said. Ethan shook his head. He couldn't eat it.

"But I can't" Ethan whispered. Cal turned and faced Ethan while Lily sat and watched, she didn't know what to do.

"You can Ethan; you know you can do this." Ethan shook his head. Cal sighed, he hoped Ethan would be getting better.

"I can't, I can't eat this. I'm so sorry." Ethan got up and started to walk towards the door but Cal stopped him.

"Ethan, please. For us?" Cal pleaded.

"NO, I CAN'T DO THIS!" Ethan shouted. He was just about to walk out of the room when Lily stopped him from leaving.

"Ethan, you need to eat. For me?" Cal and Lily looked at Ethan and saw tears forming in his eyes. Ethan fell to the ground and broke into tears.

"I'm so sorry." Ethan said, crying. Cal embraced Ethan in a hug and tried to calm him down.

"Ssh, it's okay Ethan. Excuse me, can you give us a minute please?" The nurse nodded and left the room. Lily sat with Cal and Ethan and helped Cal to calm Ethan down.

"Ethan, you need to this. The quicker you get better, the quicker you can come home."Ethan nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Cal, please take me home. I can't stay here. I'll get better at home, you and Lily can watch me and Zoe can help me. Just take me home" Ethan pleaded. He hoped that Cal would say yes. Cal hesitated before answering. He wanted Ethan to come home because he was missing him but then again, he wasn't very well. He looked over at Lily, who just shrugged.

"I'll see what I can do little brother." Ethan smiled and Cal and Lily helped him up. Cal and Lily left Ethan alone and went to find the consultant. They went into her office, they really hoped they could take him home.

"Angela, we need to talk about Ethan." Angela nodded and they sat down. Cal took in a deep breath.

"I want to take Ethan home. I know he's only put on a bit of weight but he's not happy. He thinks he could do better at home." Angela sighed and looked at Ethan's file.

"I know you two are doctors but if you think Ethan will be okay. I know there will be psychiatrists at Holby so he can talk to them. Okay Cal, you can take him home. I'll get the discharge papers ready. He'll be welcome back at anytime if he feels he needs to come back." Cal nodded and smiled. He was finally bringing Ethan home. Cal and Lily left the office and went back to Ethan. they couldn't wait to tell him the good news. They got to the room and before they walked in, they saw Ethan eating. Not much, but he was eating. Cal and Lily looked at each other and smiled. They walked in the room but Ethan choked on the bit of food he was eating.

"Whoa its okay Ethan, drink this." Cal passed a glass of water to Ethan. He smiled back at Cal and let a tear fall from his eyes.

"What's wrong Eth?"

"I want to get better. I've eaten though. I can do it." Cal nodded and smiled.

"We're going help you. You're coming back with us." Ethan's face lit up. He gave Cal and Lily a hug and went to his room to pack his stuff. He was soon ready to go and Cal carried his stuff to the reception desk.

"Cal, here are Ethan's discharge papers and here are his meds for the next 4 months." Angela said.

"He's on medication?" Cal asked, he didn't know whether to be happy or annoyed. Angela nodded.

"Anti-depressants, they do seem to work though. He'll be fine with them. Right then, good luck Ethan. You know we are just a phone call away. You can always phone me up if you need to talk." Ethan nodded and started leaving. He was going to show Cal he can get better. He was scared but he knew he had to do it.

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Thank you for reading! Hope it wasn't boring! Please review :D thank you x


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone. I'm back with the next chapter. Just to let you know, I am going on holiday in a few days so updating may be difficult because of WI-FI issues. Anyway, thank you all for the amazing reviews. I can't thank you enough.**

 **Tato Potato- Thank you for your review :D It is a really difficult issue :/ I love caring Cal :D**

 **Becs2202- Thank you for your review :D That was a good part of saturdays episode! Tomorrows and the next 2 weeks looks amazing! We hope he can but you never know!**

 **Tanith Panic- Thank you for your review :D Supporting Cal is amazing! Thank youu :)**

 **Gillian Kearney Fan- Thank you for your review :D We hope nothing happens..**

 **xcasualtyx- Thank you for your review :D**

 **Chapter 11.**

Ethan had been home for 3 weeks following Cal's decision to bring him home. Each day, Cal thought Ethan was getting better but Ethan didn't know how to feel.

Ethan was up early one morning, he couldn't sleep. He had lied to Cal. He promised to take his medication, but he hadn't since he left the treatment centre. He was scared of what they might do to. Cal knocked at Ethan's door early morning with tablets for Ethan. He entered Ethan's room and found him sitting there, doing nothing.

"Its that time of day again Ethan." Ethan smiled and took the tablets off Cal. He swallowed the painkillers but he didn't swallow the antidepressant.

"I've got to go to work this afternoon and Zoe wants to see you so we'll go together." Ethan smiled and nodded.

"Come on, let's have breakfast." Cal left Ethan's room and made his way downstairs. Ethan quickly spat out the tablet and put it in a box with the others he hadn't taken. He hid them and made his way downstairs. Cal presented him his breakfast but Ethan didn't want to eat it.

"Thank Cal. Umm, can we walk to work today?" Cal looked at Ethan suspiciously, but then nodded.

"Sure, if that's what you want." Ethan started eating his breakfast, he wanted to be sick but he knew he had to eat it for Cal. He quickly finished his breakfast and was about to go to his room until Cal stopped him.

"Ethan, where are you going?"

"I need to get changed. I can't go like this" Ethan pointed to his pyjamas and smiled. Cal nodded and Ethan left to go to his room. He ran into his bathroom and started to make himself sick. After he'd finished, he cleaned up and got changed. He back into the lounge and sat with Cal.

"That was a really nice breakfast Cal, thanks"

"No problem. Glad you enjoyed it. How are you feeling?" Ethan shrugged.

"Okay I guess. Still getting over the changes that are happening." Cal turned and faced Ethan.

"I know it's a lot to take in Eth, but you're getting better. We're helping you and you're getting there. The past 3 weeks have been really good, you are better here than at the clinic. You've done so well." Cal took Ethan into a hug and smiled.

"Come on, let's start walking to work." They got up and started to walk to work. They arrived at the ED and went to find Zoe straight away. They found Zoe by the nurses station talking to Robyn and Rita.

"Hey Zoe, can we come and speak with you now?" Zoe turned around and smiled when she saw Ethan. She nodded and they walked to her office. Cal and Ethan sat on the sofa and Zoe sat opposite them.

"So Ethan, how are you feeling?"

"Fine thanks. I feel a lot better. The medication works." Zoe nodded and smiled.

"You look a lot better. Do you mind if I weigh you?" Ethan's breath hitched. He didn't want to be weighed but he knew that they would get suspicious if he said no. He nodded and smiled. He got onto the scales but didn't look down.

"That's fine Ethan. Thank you." Ethan sat back next to Cal. "Is there anything else you want to ask?" Ethan took a deep breath in.

"I want to come back to work." Cal looked and Ethan shocked.

"You never mentioned that to me Ethan."

"Please Zoe, I really want to be here. I'll only do light work. Please."Ethan pleaded. Zoe didn't know what to do. She then remember Tara, the junior doctor from upstairs. She had a brain tumour but they allowed her to do light duty. Ethan was recovering from an eating disorder, would it be okay for him to do light work? Zoe sighed and nodded.

"Okay Ethan, only light work. A couple of shifts a week at the most." Ethan smiled. He was happy.

"Thanks Zoe, I won't let you down. I'm going to find Lily, then I'll be off home. I'll see you later Cal." Cal smiled and Ethan left.

"Are you really going to let him work Zoe?"

"I will only let him do a few hours a week. Just to help him with his recovery. Cal, we need to talk about Ethan's weight."

"What about it? He's doing fine. He's eating every meal." Zoe smiled.

"When Ethan left the clinic he weighed in at 57 kilos, he's put on weight. He's now up to 59 kilos. He doing really well. The psychiatrist sessions are helping, the medication seems to be helping as well. I say in about 6 months time, we'll have the old Ethan back."

"Do you think he'll relapse?" Cal hated thinking like that. He wanted Ethan to get better but he had to look at all possibilities. Zoe sighed.

"There may be a risk but I can't say for sure. We'll keep doing what we're doing and get Ethan through this."

"What happening with Doctor Williams?" Zoe sighed and shook her head.

"He died, yesterday afternoon. He had a heart attack." Cal was shocked. He couldn't tell Ethan.

"I can't tell Ethan. It might cause him to have a set back" Zoe nodded.

"I'd better be off, my shift starts in an hour and I want to have some lunch before I start."

"Okay Cal, thank you for today. Take it easy." Cal smiled and left the office.

Ethan arrived home but he wanted to exercise. He just felt the urge to go running or go on his cycling machine. He decided the cycling machine was better then no-one would catch him. He quickly got changed and started cycling.

Cal was nearing the end of his shift. He was happy, he could check on Ethan soon. He finished with his last patient, got changed and started to walk home. He arrived home quickly, as much to Cal's surprise. He opened the door and started to look for Ethan. He went into Ethan's room and gasped when he saw Ethan on his exercise bike, sweat pouring off him. He walked up to Ethan and turned the machine off.

"Ethan, what are you doing?" Ethan couldn't look at Cal in the eyes. He just kept his head lowered.

"I'm sorry."

"Ethan, why are you exercising?"

"BECAUSE I HAVE TOO." Ethan shouted. Cal was angry, shocked at scared.

"Please Ethan. I can't lose you again. You need to slow down on the exercising." Ethan nodded and got off the exercise bike.

"Have you eaten dinner?" Ethan nodded. He hoped Cal wouldn't see through the lie.

"That's fine. Shall we watch a movie?" Ethan nodded and smiled. He felt angry at himself that he lied to Cal but he knew he had put on weight, he just wanted to get rid of it again.

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 **Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Hopefully I can get another one up during the week! Please review! x**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello everyone! I've managed to get another chapter up! I couldn't leave you waiting for long! Thank you all for reviewing!**

 **CBloom2- Thank you very much for your review :D It's kind of from experience, both me and my friend suffered from an ED but my friend was a lot worse. Thank youu xx**

 **Guest- Thank you very much for your review :D I'm glad you are enjoying this story!**

 **Tato Potato- Thank you very much for your review :D We hope Ethan can accept help, but we don't know what's going on.**

 **Tanith Panic- Thank you very much for your review :D That's so true! It is heartbreaking. Thank you!**

 **Gillian Kearney Fan- Thank you very much for your review :D Same, Tara was amazing!**

 **xcasualtyx-** **Thank you very much for your review :D Glad you enjoyed it!**

 **xsarahx96-** **Thank you very much for your review :D**

 **I hope this chapter is okay! Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 12**

Ethan was getting worse. He had started making himself sick about 10 times a day because Cal was constantly watching him when he ate. He didn't eat when Cal was at work. He didn't think anything was wrong and Cal hadn't noticed. Ethan started wearing baggy clothes again to hide his weight loss. Ethan hadn't taken his medication for 6 weeks now and Cal still hadn't noticed that Ethan was hiding the tablets in another bottle. He had also started exercising again in private when Cal went to work. Zoe allowed Ethan to go back to work for a few hours a week. Ethan was really happy that he was allowed to.

"Ethan, we need to go to work now. Zoe's expecting you today." Cal said as he went to find Ethan.

"Okay Cal. Hold on" Ethan walked out of his room and went to gather his stuff. Cal noticed that Ethan was extremely pale and he didn't look well.

"Ethan, are you okay? You don't look well?"

"I'm fine. I'm just tired. Let's go." Ethan quickly dismissed the issue and got in the car. He wanted to get to work as quick as possible. When he arrived at the ED, Zoe automatically thought something was wrong with Ethan.

"Good morning Ethan. Are you ready to start work?" Ethan nodded and smiled. He walked off into the ED but Cal was stopped before he entered.

"What's wrong with Ethan?" Cal shrugged.

"He said he was tired. He ate breakfast this morning but he looks ill." Zoe nodded.

"Okay, we'll get him into the office after his shift and speak to him. He's only in cubicles today so he's not doing anything strenuous." Cal nodded and walked into the ED. Ethan was already in his scrubs and already seeing patients.

"Cal, is Ethan okay?" Lily asked.

"He's just tired. He's only here for a few hours" Lily walked away but she wasn't convinced. Ethan jogged out of cubicles and past Cal. Ethan ran into the toilets and started being sick. He couldn't deal with work. He'd only been there for 10 minutes and he couldn't do it any more. Ethan crawled out of the cubicle and sat on the floor next to the sinks. He felt dizzy and faint but he couldn't tell Cal.

"Ethan, are you in here?" Cal walked in but rushed to Ethan's side when he found Ethan sitting on the floor.

"What's wrong?" Ethan shook his head and tried to get up. Cal helped him to his feet. "You shouldn't be here Ethan. You're not ready. Let's get you to the staffroom." Cal assisted Ethan to the staffroom but Ethan stumbled. Cal managed to catch him before he hit the floor.

"You're feeling dizzy aren't you?" Ethan nodded faintly and sat on the sofa. Cal was worried, Ethan had eaten that morning, so why was he feeling dizzy?

"Lay down, Ethan. I'll explain to Zoe that you're not up to it." Ethan nodded and laid down. He fell asleep almost instantly. Cal put a blanket over Ethan and left the staffroom in search of Zoe. Zoe was worried for Ethan. She thought he didn't look well. Cal walked into Zoe's office.

"Ethan's asleep in the staffroom. He was dizzy so he's having a lie down." Zoe nodded and Cal went back to work.

Ethan woke up a few hours later and saw Cal and Lily sitting in the staffroom.

"How are you feeling, Eth?" Ethan smiled.

"Fine thank you. Do we need to see Zoe?" Cal nodded and helped Ethan off the sofa. They walked into Zoe's office but she was concerned. Ethan looked worse than before.

"How are you feeling now Ethan?" Ethan nodded and smiled.

"We need to check your weight and we'll have a little chat." Ethan's smiled vanished when they were going to check his weight. He didn't want to know that he put on weight. Ethan stood on the scales and looked at Cal. Zoe wrote his weight on the pad and helped Ethan back to the sofa. She looked at Cal and shook her head.

"How are you coping at home Ethan?"

"Fine, I eat every meal and I'm taking the medication. I'm doing well." Ethan smiled. "When can I see doctor Williams?" Cal's breath hitched. Should he tell Ethan or should he lie. Cal looked at Zoe, who nodded.

"Ethan, Doctor Williams died a couple of weeks ago. I'm so sorry" Ethan just looked at Cal. He hated himself, that was the second person he had killed. Ethan shook his head.

"I'm going home. I'll get a taxi." Ethan stood up and left Zoe's office and went home. He couldn't deal with anything more today. Cal wanted to follow Ethan but he knew it was a bad idea.

"What was Ethan's weight Zoe?" Cal was hopeful that Ethan had put on weight. Zoe sighed.

"It's bad. He's lost a stone. He's down to 52 kilos. He's doing something to himself. He could be exercising when you're not there or he could be throwing up after every meal or he doesn't eat when you're at work. Either way, he's dangerously ill again. We need to help him. I know he's gone home but after your shift come back here and we'll talk to Ethan and home." Cal nodded and let a tear fall from his eyes. Ethan was back to where he started and he didn't notice. When Ethan arrived home, he went straight to his room. He was upset, he had killed two people.

 _I can't live with myself_ He thought.

Ethan knew what he had to do. He wrote a note for Cal and started swallowing his tablets. He only swallowed about seven when he was being pulled into darkness. As he was being pulled into unconsciousness he felt peaceful and happy.

Cal finished his shift and he and Zoe went back to his house to talk to Ethan. They needed him to come back into hospital to get treatment again.

"I can't lose him Zoe" Cal's voice broke. He tried not to cry but he struggled.

"You won't lose him Cal. I promise." They entered the house and went to Ethan's bedroom. Cal opened the door and entered but stood in shock when he saw Ethan lying on his bed with a note and a bottle of tablets. Zoe rushed to Ethan's side and tried to find a pulse. Cal stood there, crying. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"He's got a pulse. He's very bradycardic. I can barely feel the pulse. I'll call an ambulance." Zoe phoned an ambulance and Cal picked up the note. He took in a sharp breath as he read it.

 _Dear Cal,_

 _I'm sorry but I can't deal with this any more. I've killed two people and I can't live myself. Remember me as I was. You were my safety net as well._

 _I love you Cal._

 _Ethan._

Cal dropped the note and rushed to Ethan's side.

"Do not die on me little brother. We're going to get you better. I don't care how long it takes. Jeff and Doctor Williams deaths were not your fault. Please just wake up for me. Let me see those big brown eyes once again." Cal was angry. Mainly with himself but he was slightly angry at Ethan. Dixie and Iain arrived very quickly but were shocked to find it was Ethan.

"What's happened?" Dixie asked.

"It looks like attempted suicide. We need to get him in now!" Zoe ordered. They moved Ethan onto the trolley and rushed him into the ambulance. During the journey back to the ED, Ethan's heart stopped.

"Iain, step on it. He's gone into cardiac arrest." Dixie started doing compressions and Zoe was trying to hook him up on IV lines. Cal sat in shock. He was going to lose his little brother. After several minutes of CPR, Ethan's heart started beating normally again.

"He's back, we're nearly there Ethan. Hang on for us. 30 seconds and we'll be there." Cal grabbed Ethan's hand. They finally made it to the ED.

"Ethan Hardy, age 30, he attempted suicide by overdosing on antidepressants. Unconscious throughout, went into cardiac arrest en-route but we brought him back. Pulse is 67 and slowing and BP is 70/40." Dixie relayed the information over to Dylan.

"Right, we need to flush out his system. Quickly!" Dylan ordered. Charlie lead Ethan away and to the relatives room.

"It's my fault Charlie. I shouldn't have told him about Doctor Williams but I couldn't lie to him. I can't lose him Charlie" Cal started crying again.

"It's not your fault Cal. Ethan just needs a lot of help." Charlie embraced Cal in a hug and Cal cried into Charlie's shoulder. After several minutes Cal went quiet and Charlie found that he had fallen asleep. He laid him down and left him to sleep. He would wake him up when there was news on Ethan.

Cal woke up and jumped off the sofa. He looked at the clock and found he had been asleep for 2 hours. He ran down to RESUS but when he got there, he couldn't see Ethan. Just the nurses cleaning the bed where he was.

"Cal?" Cal turned and saw Zoe.

"Where's Ethan?"

"He's in a side room. He's fine. We washed out his system so he should make a full recovery but we will not discharge him until he puts on weight. We managed to get a tube into his stomach so we can feed him. It will be fine Cal." Cal hugged Zoe and ran to Ethan's room. He entered the room quietly. Ethan was still unconscious but at least he was going to be okay. Cal thought he looked peaceful but then he saw Ethan's thin frame and sighed.

"I'm so sorry little brother. At least we're going to get you proper help now and you've got to take it. I'll be here for you always. I can't lose you Eth. You're my safety net." Cal grabbed Ethan's hand and fell asleep in the chair next to Ethan's bed.

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 **Hope this was okay! Hope you enjoyed it! Please review, thank youu x**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello everybody! I'm back with another chapter! I thought I wouldn't be able to get this up but I managed to find a place with a strong WIFI connection. Anyway, thank you all for the amazing reviews! Wasn't saturday's episode amazing! This weekends episodes look brilliant :D**

 **sweet-as-honey- Thank you so much for your review :) Ethan's a very clever guy ;) x**

 **Tato potato- Thank you so much for your review :) sorry for the shock :) x**

 **CBloom2- Thank you so much for your review :) I hope this chapter will answer your questions :) x**

 **xcasualtyx- Thank you so much for your review :) x**

 **Chapter 13**

Ethan was still asleep. It had been a few days since his attempted suicide and Cal was a nervous wreck. Every weird sound on Ethan's monitor, Cal would call someone. He hadn't managed to get a lot of sleep becasue he was scared that something would happen, but nothing ever did. Cal was just about to fall asleep when Ethan started groaning.

"Ethan? Wake up, that's it." Ethan's eyes started opening.

"How are you feeling little brother?" Ethan smiled weakly.

"I've felt better." He moved in his bed slightly but winced when there was a pain in his stomach. "Why does my stomach hurt so much?" Ethan whispered. He didn't have enough energy to talk normally. He felt to weak.

"They put a tube into your stomach so they can feed you. You're severely underweight." Ethan nodded and sniffed.

"I'm so sorry, Cal" Ethan wiped the tears from his eyes.

"What for?"

"For everything. Why didn't you let me die?" Cal shook his head. He was starting to cry.

"I wasn't going to let you die. You're my little brother, Ethan and I need you. I'm going to help you. Zoe is going to do your anti-depressants in IV form so we know they're going into your system." Ethan nodded. He wanted to get better. Zoe entered Ethan's room and smiled sympathetically at him.

"How are you feeling Ethan?"

"I'm fine Zoe." Zoe nodded and went to check Ethan's vitals. She sighed and shook her head. Cal looked worriedly at Zoe. He knew there was something wrong. She motioned for Cal to step outside.

"What's happening Zoe?" Zoe sighed and looked at Cal.

"Extremely low blood pressure, arrhythmia, bradycardia. It's like his body's shutting down." Cal sucked in a sharp breath and tried not to panic.

"What can we do?" Zoe shrugged.

"Well if his heart slows down any more, we'll shock it back into normal rhythm. That's all we can do at the moment. How are you feeling Cal?" Zoe was worried for Cal as well as Ethan. Cal looked pale and he looked like a zombie.

"Tired, scared, angry, the list goes on Zoe. I haven't slept since he was admitted. I'm scared that i'll lose him and I'm angry at myself for letting this happen." Cal choked on a sob. Zoe pulled him into a hug and held him tight. She was trying not to cry as well but Ethan was a good doctor and it frightened her to see him like that. After their hug, they went back into Ethan's room. He was lying there, tears running down his face. Cal ran to his side.

"What's wrong buddy?" Ethan shook his head. He didn't want to talk to anybody.

"Okay, i'm going into the ED. I've got some paperwork to do. Robyn will be here in a minute so i'll see you later." Ethan nodded and Cal and Zoe left. Cal made her way to find Lily. Maybe she could get him to open up. He found Lily in the staffroom going through some paperwork.

"Lily, can I have a word?" Lily nodded and smiled. Cal sat next to her and took a deep breath.

"could you go and see Ethan, please?"

"I can't" She look away from Cal.

"Why not?" Lily sighed and looked back at Cal.

"It's so difficult to see him. He's nearly died and I can't help him. I want him to be happy but it's just difficult. I can't see him like this." Lily started crying. Cal pulled her into a hug.

"He will get better Lily, He's being fed and the anti-depressants are being given to him through IV. He'll be fine." Lily nodded. She didn't know whether to believe him or not. Zoe knocked on the door.

"Cal, it's Ethan" Cal and Lily rushed out of the staffroom to see Robyn, Rita and Max pushing Ethan's trolley into RESUS.

"What heppened?" Cal asked, shocked that he was once again in RESUS.

"His heart rate dropped. He went into cardiac arrest. We brought him back after a couple of minutes but his heart rythm is still out of sync." Cal nodded and went to help Zoe.

"Cal, you can't treat him. You know the rules. Lily, you can asisst." Lily nodded and went for the pads.

"Okay, charging. Everybody clear?"

"Yes!" Everyone shouted in unison. They shocked Ethan's heart and waited for the results.

"Back in normal rhythm." Zoe announced. Everybody sighed and Cal went to Ethan's side and held his hand.

"Ethan, wake up for me please." Ethan's eyes started opening and Cal breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was good.

"Cal?" Ethan croaked.

"I'm here. How are you feeling, Eth?"

"I'm hungry" Ethan admitted. Cal's eyes went wide with shock.

"You're hungry? But why don't you eat something?" Ethan shook his head.

"I can't, I don't want to get fat." Ethan sobbed.

"You won't get fat. You were perfect before. We'll get you better Eth. I promise." Cal stroked Ethan's hair and Ethan immedietly relaxed.

"Can you help me? I want to get help. Please Cal." Ethan pleaded. Cal nodded.

"Of course I'll help you. Do you want to stay here and get better or treatment centre?"

"Treatment centre, I need to be there. They're specialists. Please, take me soon." Cal nodded and embraced Ethan in a hug.

"Of course little brother. I'll take you back. Let's get you sorted here first and then you'll be going."

"Thank you Cal. I love you Cal."

"I love you too little brother."

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 **Thank you for reading! Hope this was okay :) Please review thank you x**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello again! Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews for the last chapter :) I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I hope it isn't boring!**

 **Gillian Kearney Fan- Thank you very much for the review :D I was actually upset when writing chapter 13 because of everything that went on in it.**

 **CBloom2- Thank you very much for the review :D It is a very long road ahead. I'm glad x**

 **Tato Potato- Thank you very much for the review :D IKR, it'll be good for Ethan. Defoo, I've got a little sequel lined up as well.**

 **ETWentHome- Thank you very much for the review :D I'm glad you enjoyed them :D This could be :) I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **xcasualtyx- Thank you very much for the review :D I'm glad you liked the chapter!**

 **xsarahx96-Thank you very much for the review :D**

 **Chapter 14**

Ethan was still in the hospital. He wanted to go back to the treatment centre but Cal and Zoe didn't know whether to move him or whether it was safe to move him. Ethan had to have his heart shocked back into normal rhythm twice after the first time it happened.

Cal was working his shift one morning but he couldn't concentrate, he just had Ethan going through his mind. He hadn't been to see him for a couple of hours, so he was beginning to worry about him. Connie had noticed Cal's lack of work and concentration and she wasn't very happy.

"Doctor Knight, may I remind you that you are on shift and your concentration doesn't seem to be great." Cal noticed Connie was angry and he wanted to shout at her but he knew he couldn't.

"Mrs Beauchamp, I'm worried about Ethan." Connie shook her head.

"Yes I know, but he's fine at the moment. So can I ask if you think about your job rather than your brother for the next couple of hours?" Cal nodded and walked off to find his next patient. He wasn't going to stop thinking about Ethan but he would concentrate more on his work.

Ethan was in the side room. He felt ill and he wanted to do something about it but he was too weak to do anything. He was lying there with an oxygen mask on and he still had the tube in his stomach. Zoe entered Ethan's room and walked over to Ethan and checked his temperature.

"How are you feeling Ethan?" He removed the oxygen mask from his face.

"I'm so cold." Ethan whispered as he put the oxygen mask back on his face.

"You're a tad bit blue and you're BP is low. We'll get more blankets on you and try to warm you up. I think the best option for you is to move you to the treatment centre in an ambulance, they have said they can keep you in bed until you're well enough to move." Ethan nodded faintly. Zoe left the room and back to the ED.

Cal was on his break with Lily when Zoe walked up to him. Cal's face clouded with concern when Zoe sat next to him and Lily.

"What's wrong Zoe?" Cal asked. His heart was beating so fast, he was worried.

"Ethan's temperature has dropped, so has his blood pressure. This is not good. We're trying to warm him up. The dietician should be there now feeding him but he's looking worse than before." Cal shook his head but Lily left the staffroom, she couldn't hear any more.

"What are you going to do?"

"Move him to the treatment centre in an ambulance, so we can bring him back here if anything happens during the trip. Dixie and Iain will take him and you can travel with him. I don't think his vitals will stabilise properly for a while so I think we'll move him today." Cal nodded and smiled.

"Thanks Zoe, I appreciate everything you've done for him."

"That's fine Cal. Anyway, how are you feeling?" Cal shrugged and poured himself some more coffee.

"I'm really tired. I think I've had about 4 hours sleep the past 3 nights. I'm living on coffee at the moment." Zoe sighed and shook her head.

"Why don't you get a few hours sleep in the on-call room. I'll square it with Connie. Off you go" Zoe ordered. Cal smiled and nodded his thanks before going to find Lily. He found Lily going through some notes with Rita.

"Lily, can I have a word?" Lily nodded and followed Cal. They walked to the on-call room and sat on the bed.

"What's wrong?" Cal asked. Lily shook her head, tears threatening to fall.

"I can't deal with Ethan being so ill. It's scares me. What if he doesn't get better?" Tears started falling from Lily's eyes.

"He'll be fine, I promise. We're moving him to the treatment centre today. You and me, we'll support him, we'll get him through this. You know he likes you Lily you just have to help me to help him get better. Promise me you'll help?" Lily nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Okay, I will. I'll let you get some sleep. You must need it."

"Yeah, I'm going to get a few hours before I take Ethan back. I'll see you later Lily." Lily left the on-call room and Cal fell asleep almost immediately.

A few hours later, Zoe entered the on-call room and found Cal sleeping peacefully. She didn't want to wake him but Dixie and Iain were ready to move Ethan back to the treatment centre. Zoe shook Cal gently and he started to wake up. When Cal saw Zoe, he shot up and got ready.

"What's happened Zoe?" Cal asked, panicked.

"Nothing Cal, we're ready to move Ethan. Dixie and Iain are waiting." Cal nodded and made his way to Ethan. He took a deep breath and entered Ethan's room. Ethan was lying there, with his oxygen mask on with about 5 blankets on him to keep him warm.

"Hey there Ethan. How are you feeling?" Ethan smiled and nodded faintly.

"Are you ready to go back?" Ethan sniffed and nodded again.

"What's wrong?" Ethan removed the oxygen mask.

"I don't want to leave you." Ethan whispered. Cal shook his head and took Ethan's hand.

"I'll be fine. Just worry about yourself. I want you to get better and Lily wants you to get better." Ethan nodded and started falling asleep.

"Have a nice sleep, little brother." Dixie and Iain walked into Ethan's room and Cal helped them to move Ethan onto the trolley and down to the ambulance. They got Ethan into the ambulance without waking him and they started driving to the treatment centre.

They got to the treatment centre and they moved Ethan inside. The consultant was waiting for them to help move Ethan back into his old room.

"Good afternoon Caleb. How is he?"

"I think he's okay. He's been asleep for nearly an hour. His BP is a little low and so is his temperature but he's okay. How long do you think he'll stay this time?"

"I say about 8 weeks minimum because of how low his weight is." Cal nodded and went to Ethan's room. He was asleep peacefully in his bed.

"Goodbye Ethan. I 'll see you soon." Cal left Ethan to sleep and went back to Iain and Dixie.

"Thank you Angela. I'll come and see him in a couple of days." Angela nodded and shook hands with Cal.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Dixie asked. Cal nodded.

"It's just leaving him here. I feel like a complete failure."

"You're not a failure, Ethan needs expert help." Cal nodded and they got back into the ambulance. Cal looked back and sighed. Should he have really left him there?

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 **Thank you for reading everybody! Hope it was okay! If you have any ideas on where you would like this story to go please feel free to leave it in the reviews! Thank youu x**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone! Sorry for the lateness of uploading this chapter! Wasn't Casualty just amazing last weekend! It looks brilliant on Saturday and Sunday this week as well! Anyway, Thank you for reviewing everyone! You guys are amazing! And thank to the recent followers and favourites of the story!**

 **ETWentHome- Thank you for your review :D Yeah, It was good that he wanted to go, not being forced :)**

 **Tato potato- Thank you for your review :D I like caring Ethan as well as caring Cal :) You'll see what I have planned for the next chapter!**

 **xcasualtyx- Thank you for your review :D**

 **xsarahx96- Thank you for your review :D**

 **I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

 **Chapter 15**

4 weeks, Cal thought. 4 weeks since Ethan had put himself back into the treatment centre and Cal had only seen him once. Twice, Ethan ran away from the clinic trying to find their mum when he was dosed up on tablets. Cal and Lily were both concerned for Ethan because of his escape attempts.

Cal and Lily were both in the staffroom going through patient notes. Lily wanted to talk to Cal about her and Ethan but she didn't know where to begin.

"Cal, I need to talk to you about Ethan." Cal sighed and looked at Lily. "I love him and when he's discharged I want to help him with the recovery." Cal smiled at Lily and nodded.

"Of course, you guys still need to go for that drink anyway. Would you like to move in with us, when Eth is discharged?" Lily smiled. She was so happy.

"I would love to. Thank you Cal." Cal and Lily hugged. Cal liked the fact he wasn't going to be on his own when helping Ethan.

Ethan was getting ready for his daily weigh-in at the clinic. He was nervous but he knew he had to do it. He walked into the nurses room and breathed deeply. He knew he had put on weight because he could feel it.

"Okay Ethan, step on the scales for me please." Ethan nodded and stepped onto the scales. He looked down and took in a deep breath when he saw how much weight he had put on. He got off the scales and went back to his room. He was angry for putting on weight but as Cal said to him, it was for his own good.

"Ethan? Can I come in please?" Ethan opened his bedroom door and let the nurse in.

"We're trying to get hold of your brother but we're not having much luck at the moment." Ethan nodded, he hadn't heard from or seen Cal in just over a week. "How are you feeling?" Ethan shrugged, he hated talking to the nurses. "Let me know if you need anthing." Ethan nodded and the nurse left his room. He wanted to go and see Cal and Lily so he packed some stuff. After a few minutes, he crept out of his room and out of the back door of the clinic. He made his way through the car park and out onto the main road. He was determined to get to the hospital.

At the hospital Cal was about to go and find his next patient until he was stopped by his phone ringing. He looked at his phone and saw the number. He sighed and answered it.

"Hello, Caleb Knight."

"Good morning Cal, It's Angela here from the treatment centre. I was ringing to ask you if you have seen Ethan or heard from him?"

"Not since nearly two weeks ago, why?" He was hoping that Ethan hadn't escaped again.

"Ethan's gone missing I'm afraid. We have staff looking for him at the moment but if he turns up at the hospital, will you phone us please?" Zoe and Lily walked up to Cal and was immediately concerned.

"Of course, thanks for letting me know. Bye." He put the phone down and turned to Lily and Zoe.

"Ethan's run away again. They can't find him. He could be on his way here." Zoe sighed and shook her head.

"I'm sure he'll be fine Cal. Now, go and take a break. I want to see you in the staffroom in 10 minutes, okay?" Cal looked confused at Zoe but nodded. He quickly took his break and made himself more coffee and thought about Ethan.

"Why Ethan? Where are you?" Cal whispered to himself. Zoe walked into the staffroom and sat next to Cal.

"Cal, I'm worried about you."

"Why are you worried about me?" Cal didn't understand.

"You have been working double shifts and split shifts for days now. You haven't been sleeping, have you?" Cal shook his head.

"I can't Zoe. Every time I close my eyes, I have visions of Ethan dying. I do work at night time to take my mind off it. I haven't slept for days. I'm running on caffeine and I can't physically do it any more." Zoe was shocked at Cal's outburst and pulled him into a hug. She wanted to help him but she didn't know how. Rita ran into the staffroom and Zoe and Cal got up.

"Cal, it's Ethan. He's here." Cal looked at Rita shocked before running to reception. He got to reception and found Ethan standing by the reception desk. He ran up to him and pulled Ethan into a hug.

"The clinic phoned, said you went missing. I was so scared." Cal whispered.

"I'm sorry, but I had to see you." Ethan released himself from the hug and looked at Cal.

"You look a lot better Eth." Ethan smiled.

"I feel a lot better thank you." Cal and Ethan walked into the staffroom and they made themselves coffee.

"I guess you're wondering how much weight I've gained." Cal nodded.

"24 pounds. I'm just over 9 stone again. They removed the tube a couple of days ago. Well, they had to remove it. I got angry at it and pulled it out." Cal sighed and shook his head.

"Well I'm glad you're doing well. Do you know when you'll be discharged?" Cal really wanted Ethan home.

"Possibly 3 weeks maybe more. Today is one of my good days, so it depends." Cal smiled at Ethan.

"You know that I have to phone the clinic to tell them you're safe." Ethan's face clouded with anger.

"I thought you would like to see me?" Ethan said angrily.

"Of course I do but they need to know you're safe." Ethan got up and made his way out of the staffroom. Cal got up quickly but had to stop when he had a wave of dizziness. He breathed deeply until the dizziness had disappeared and ran after Ethan. Ethan was walking through the car park and out onto the main road until Cal shouted at him.

"ETHAN, WAIT! STOP!" Cal shouted. Ethan turned around but he didn't see the car and the car went straight into him. Cal ran to Ethan and went straight into doctor mode. He spotted Max and Iain with a trolley and shouted for them.

"IAIN, MAX, I NEED THE TROLLEY. BRING THE BACKBOARD AND NECK BRACE NOW!" Iain and Max ran to get the equipment and ran over to Cal and Ethan.

"Don't do this again Ethan, please" Cal pleaded. Ethan lightly squeezed Cal's hand.

"Ethan? I thought he was still at the clinic?" Iain asked.

"He ran away this morning. Right, we need to immobilise his neck and back and I want him straight into resus." Iain and Max nodded and helped manoeuvre Ethan onto the backboard and onto the trolley. They rushed Ethan through to resus where they met up with Connie and Rita.

"Okay, what happened Doctor Knight?" Connie asked.

"Ethan was hit by a car going at a speed of approximately 30 miles per hour. GCS was 10. He squeezed my hand but if never opened his eyes." Connie nodded before going to examine Ethan.

"Charlie, escort Doctor Knight to the relatives room please and keep him there." Connie ordered. Charlie nodded and lead Cal out of the room. They got to the relatives room but the room started spinning for Cal. He tried taking deep breathes to clear his vision but it didn't work.

"Cal, are you okay?" Charlie asked worriedly.

"Yeah." Cal mumbled before fainting.

"Cal? Can you hear me?" Cal didn't know what was going on. He had a headache and he felt sick. Then he remembered Ethan. He opened his eyes and saw the relieved faces of Zoe and Robyn.

"How are you feeling Cal?" Zoe asked.

"I'm fine. What about Ethan? How is he?" Cal wanted answers but he didn't know how long he was out for.

"He is really lucky. He has some swelling on the brain but that will decrease in time. He's asking for you and Lily." Cal got up from the bed in cubicles and rushed into the small resus. Ethan looked at Cal and smiled at him.

"I'm so sorry Cal." Cal shook his head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Ethan. I'm sorry, if I hadn't made you stop then you wouldn't have got hit by a car." Ethan shook his head.

"I'm sorry for making you worried all the time. Zoe told me that you're not sleeping and she told me you fainted. Are you okay now?" Ethan was worried for Cal, if Cal wasn't sleeping then he had to help him relax.

"I'm fine Eth. I've spoken to Lily and we have decided that she should move in so she'll be there for when you are discharged then she can help him your recovery." Ethan smiled. He quite like the idea of Lily living with them. Speaking of Lily, she walked into the small resus, concerned plastered clouding her face.

"Ethan, Zoe said you were hit by a car. are you okay?" Ethan nodded and smiled.

"Just a bit of swelling on the brain that will decrease in time. I was wondering, would you like to go on a date?" Lily just looked at Ethan, she couldn't believe he was asking her.

"Of course. I would love to but-" Ethan pulled Lily into a kiss. Cal looked away, embarrassed.

"Guys, please. I'm here you know." Ethan and Lily smiled at Cal.

"Sorry Cal but you know, I have feelings for Lily." Lily blushed and laughed.

"I know you do. Right, I'm going to get some sleep. You better get some sleep as well. I'll see you tomorrow Eth." Cal gave Ethan a hug before leaving to go to the on-call room. Lily sat on Ethan's bed next to him and cuddled up with Ethan. They soon were asleep with the events of that day forgotten.

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 **I hope this wasn't to boring! I've got two more chapters for this then onto the sequel! Please review :) Thank you x**


	16. Chapter 16

**Good day everyone :) Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter :) Thank you all so much for the reviews, you guys are soo amazing! I will PM you guys and say thank youu :D x**

 **Chapter 16**

Everything was so black, it reminded Ethan of space. Ethan opened his eyes and found he was back in resus. _What happened? Why was I in here again?_ Ethan thought.

"Welcome back Ethan. How are you feeling?" Ethan looked up and there was Zoe. Ethan smiled at her. He knew he was going to get a lecture from her or Cal later on.

"Yeah, fine thanks" Ethan replied back to her. Ethan tried to get up but as he moved, he felt something sticking in him. He looked down and gasped when he saw this tube.

"What the hell is this?" Ethan asked angrily. Zoe sighed.

"This is a tube Ethan. It leads into your stomach so we can feed you. We want you to put on some weight." Ethan shook his head angrily.

"I'm an adult, I can do what I want" Ethan looked over at Zoe and she looked down. She couldn't even look at him in the eyes. Ethan had to change the subject.

"Where's Lily gone?"

"She's gone to work Ethan. You were asleep so she left you." Ethan got up and sat in the wheelchair and started to wheel himself out of resus.

"I'll see you later then?" Zoe nodded and Ethan made his way to the staffroom where he found Cal and Lily.

"Hey guys!" Ethan said happily but neither of them answered.

"What's wrong?" Ethan asked. Cal looked at Lily and Lily nodded at him.

"We don't know what to do any more Ethan" Cal said. It made Ethan slightly confused.

"About what?" Ethan asked. He didn't know what was up with them.

"It's like… You don't want to get better. You want to be really ill." Ethan took in a sharp breath. _Is that what they thought?_

"You both think that do you?" They both nodded. Ethan shook his head, trying not to let tears fall from his eyes.

"It's not my fault. I wanted to lose weight. The voices in my head told me to. Yes, I nearly died and I tried to get help and you all know that" Ethan argued back.

"Yeah and guess what you failed at that recovery place didn't you, and now look at you. You keep running away from there. You're back to where you started and the only thing that is keeping you alive is that food tube" Cal snapped back. Ethan tried not to cry. He wanted to get better but he found it difficult.

"BOYS!" Ethan and Cal turned around and to see Zoe standing there, angry looking and her arms folded.

"Zoe, um we were..." Cal started saying.

"I know what you boys were saying and it stops now" Zoe growled back. _Thank goodness she's on my side._ Ethan thought.

"But Zoe, if Ethan is being so selfish why should we be nice to him?" Lily shot back. _Is that what they thought of me?_

"He's your brother Cal and your friend Lily. He's getting help and that's it."

"Yeah, a good brother he is" Cal mumbled.

"Do you know what, I don't care. Take me back to the clinic then. Send me away again. I ran away to be with you guys but no, you couldn't care less." Ethan shook his head and wheeled himself up to the on-call room.

 _This is not real. This has got to be a dream. They were fine the other day. What happened?_ Ethan thought to myself. He got himself onto the bed and fell asleep.

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Back in reality, Zoe and Cal were checking on Ethan. It was only yesterday Ethan got hit by a car and with swelling on the brain, Cal and Zoe decided to watch him carefully. Lily was still asleep next to Ethan.

"How is he doing Zoe?" Cal asked as he walked into the small resus. He smiled when he saw Lily still asleep next to Ethan.

"He's doing okay Cal, BP is low and his heart rate is rising every so often but not a lot of change. He's been very lucky. I'll do another CT when he wakes just to check for any changes. How are you feeling today?" Cal nodded and smiled.

"I feel a lot better thank you. That sleep did me good." Zoe smiled and turned when Lily started stirring.

"Hello sleepy head." Lily smiled and got up from the bed.

"How is he?"

"Alright. Still hasn't woken up from his sleep. His BP is a bit low and his pulse rises every so often but he's doing good." Lily sighed in relief. Suddenly, Ethan started moving violently on the bed. Zoe, Cal and Lily held him so he didn't fall off the bed.

"What's going on?" Cal asked, he hoped that Ethan wasn't having side effects of the head injury.

"He's not fitting so I'm really not sure" Zoe said. They kept holding onto Ethan.

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In Ethan's dream, Ethan was having an argument with Cal.

"Cal, look I am really sorry that all this has happened." Ethan said apologetically.

"I don't know who you are any more Ethan. You do know Lily has been diagnosed with depression." Ethan looked at Cal shocked. He shook his head slowly.

"Well she has and..." Cal was interrupted by Robyn rushing into the staffroom.

"Cal, Ethan you need to come now. It's Lily" Cal ran out of the staffroom and Ethan followed. They ran into resus and saw Zoe giving Lily CPR whilst Charlie was doing artificial respiration.

"What happened?" Cal asked.

"Lily ran straight into an oncoming car. Severe injuries to head, neck and back. She went into cardiac arrest at the scene. I've been giving her CPR for 30 minutes" Zoe relayed the information to Cal and Ethan and they were shocked that Lily would do that.

"Why wasn't I informed of this when it happened?" Cal asked angrily.

"We couldn't tell you Cal but then Robyn found out and she ran and told you. Lofty, pulse check please" Lofty felt for a pulse but shook his head.

"No pulse, continue CPR?" Lofty asked. Ethan sat in shock. He felt sick that he did this to one of his best friends.

"Pupils fixed and dilated, no there's no point" Zoe sniffled as she turned off Lily's machines.

"Um time of death 4.54pm.

"Are you happy Ethan? You sent Lily to her death." Cal shouted. Ethan didn't say anything. He just cried silently. He wheeled himself out of the room and into reception. Cal followed him, he wasn't finished yet.

"You got nothing to say. You're tearing everyone apart" Ethan got up from his wheelchair and staggered over to Cal. He only got half way until he fainted and it his head on the floor, knocking him unconscious.

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"I wonder what that was about. His heart rose for a couple of minutes but he wasn't fitting. It was probably a really bad dream" Zoe said. Ethan started groaning. Cal stood up and grabbed onto Ethan's hand, trying not to dislodge the IV line.

"Ethan, can you hear me?" Zoe asked. Ethan started grimacing as he started to wake up.

"That's it Eth, wake up. Your head will hurt but it will be okay." Cal encouraged. Finally, Ethan's eyes opened.

"Hey Ethan, how are you feeling?" Ethan didn't reply. His breathing started quickening.

"Whoa Ethan I need you to slow your breathing down for me" Zoe said as she put an oxygen mask on him. Ethan looked at Cal with fear in his eyes.

"Ssh, it's okay little brother. Just breathe in and out." Ethan's breathing started to slow and Cal smiled as Ethan became calmer.

"Now, what was that all that about?" Zoe asked but Ethan looked away.

"Ethan?" Cal asked. He wanted to know what was up with his little brother.

"You want me dead. Lily's gone..." Cal cut him off.

"Whoa Ethan, we don't want you dead. We love you and we are helping you"

"But..."

"Ethan, you started tossing violently, you were having a nightmare. Lily is right there." Zoe said. She pointed to Lily who was sorting out some paperwork in the next room.

"So she's okay and everybody else is okay? What about the food tube?"

"You haven't had it for a couple of weeks." Ethan sighed in relief.

"I'm so sorry Cal." Cal looked confused.

"What for?"

"For running away from the clinic, for getting hit by an ambulance, for making you faint. I'm getting better Cal. Send me back and i'll make sure the next time you see me I'll be better that I can come home." Ethan yawned.

"I know are Ethan, we'll be here for you. Now go to sleep." Ethan nodded and closed his eyes.

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The next morning Ethan was packing his stuff, ready to move back to the clinic to do his final few weeks there. He knew that he would never be fully recovered and that he'll still have the bad thoughts but he was determined to try and get rid of them.

"Are you ready to go?" Cal asked as he walked into Ethan's room.

"Yeah, i'm getting a bit bored of this place. I've been here too many times this year. Anyway, I have to complete the last few weeks." Cal nodded and put his arm round Ethan's shoulder.

"I'm proud of you little brother. You've come so far in these months but I promise you, I'll be there for you whenever you need help, okay?" Ethan nodded and smiled. Cal picked up Ethan's bag and they started to walk to the car. Ethan saw Lily so he ran up to her and gave her a kiss and a cuddle before leaving. Ethan ran back after Cal and joined him in the car. Ethan was nervous but he tried not to show it.

"You ready?" Cal asked. He could see Ethan was nervous but he didn't want to push him to open up. Ethan nodded and Cal drove off.

They got to the clinic and Angela was waiting for them. She smiled as Ethan and Cal got out of the car. Ethan took in a deep breath and started walking towards Angela but he stopped as a sudden wave of fear took over him. Cal noticed and rushed to Ethan's side.

"What's wrong Eth?" Ethan shook his head.

"I'm fine, It's just... No it's nothing. I'm ready." Cal and Ethan walked to Angela.

"Good morning Ethan, Cal. Welcome back. Now Ethan, you only have a few weeks left here unless anything happens but I doubt it will, you have made brilliant progress." Cal smiled at Ethan.

"He has been under observation at the hospital, he has minor swelling on the brain but it hasn't been a problem yet. He needs to return to hospital if he becomes unwell" Cal explained.

"That's fine. Now, let's get you inside and your bags unpacked. You can say goodbye to Cal becasue you won't be able to see him again for three weeks." Ethan turned and faced Cal. Cal pulled Ethan into a hug.

"Goodbye Ethan. I promise you'll do fine these last few weeks. I'm so proud of you and mum would be proud. Just get better and get out of this place. I want you home again." Ethan nodded and he let go of Cal. Ethan picked up his bag and walked inside. He was looking forward to going home but he wasn't looking forward to another few weeks at the clinic.

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 **Thank you all for reading! Hope it was okay :) Oh and I'm sorry if I scared anyone at the begining :/ Please review :) Thank you x**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello everyone! This is the very last chapter of the story :( I want to say a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and followed this story from the very begining and thank you to everybody who has read it! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. The sequel will be up in a few days. It's already pre-written so updates for that will be quite regualr! Thank you all again and I hope you enjoy this last chapter.**

 **Chapter 17**

 _3 Weeks later..._

Ethan was sitting in his room at the clinic. Nobody had told him whether he had put on enough weight to be discharged or not. He was getting increasingly worried that he wouldn't be able to go home. He was lying on his bed when a knock came on his door. He shot up and ran to the door. He opened it and found it was the nurse and Angela. He let them in and he sat back down on his bed.

"Good afternoon Ethan. We would like to update you on your progress." Ethan smiled, he hoped his wish came true.

"Since you first came here, you have made brilliant progress and you have put on enough weight that you are back in the healthy range again. So, we would like to discharge you from the clinic." Ethan smiled. He was so happy.

"Thank you so much. Thank you for helping me, saving me and helping me get my life sorted." He hugged Angela and the nurse and ran down to the telephone room. He wanted to phone Cal and tell him the good news. He dialled in Cal's number and waited for him to pick up.

It was Cal's day off and he was at home moving stuff around for Lily, for when she moved in. He was clearing out the spare room when his phone started to ring.

"Hello"

 _"Cal it's me. It's Ethan."_ Cal could hear the excitement in Ethan's voice, which only meant one thing.

"Hey Eth, how are you doing?"

 _"Okay thanks! Guess what, I'm being discharged today. Could you pick me up please?"_ Cal smiled, he was so pleased.

"Of course I will Eth and well done. I knew you could it. I'll pick you up in 30 minutes. Do you want me to bring Lily?"

 _"No, I want to surprise her. How is she doing?"_

"Fine, she sold her flat and she needs to move out by Friday so she can move in tomorrow?"

 _"Perfect, thanks Cal. I'll see you later."_

"Bye Ethan." Cal put the phone down and started cheering. He was so pleased for Ethan. He finished moving the last of the stuff from the spare room and got himself ready to pick up Ethan. He wasn't going to leave him there longer than he need to be there.

Ethan started packing his things. He was excited that he could go home to be with his brother and girlfriend. He packed his things neatly in his suitcase and wheeled it into the waiting room. Angela came in and sat next to him on the sofa.

"Here's your tablets for the next few months Ethan. After that your doctor will have to prescribe them. You'll need to take these for quite sometime until we all feel that you are ready to come off them. Just because you are leaving here doesn't mean I won't know how you are coping. I have to keep a check up on all patients, discharged or not." Ethan nodded. He knew the tablets would help but he'd thought he had got rid of that place for good.

"Thank you Angela." He turned and faced the door when he heard someone entering. He smiled when he saw Cal walking through the door.

"Cal, thank you for picking me up."

"No problem. are you ready to go home?" Ethan nodded and got his suitcase. "Someone's eager."

"I just want to get home and see Lily." Cal was so proud of Ethan.

"Here are your discharge papers. Hand them into reception and then you are free to go Ethan."

"Thank you again Angela." Angela smiled.

"No problem Ethan. Good luck." Angela and Ethan shook hands and Ethan left the room.

"Thank you for making him better, I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own." Cal said. He tried to get rid of the images in his mind of Ethan, seriously ill in hospital a few months ago.

"No problem Cal. He has his tablets for a few months but he needs to be on them until you, me, his doctor and psychiatrist are all in agreement that he doesn't need them any more." Cal nodded in understanding.

"Thank you and goodbye." Angela and Cal shook hands and Cal made his way to reception where Ethan was waiting to go.

"Are you ready?" Ethan nodded. He was nervous about going home and having to face everything but he was determined. Cal took Ethan's suitcase and they walked to the car. They got into the car and drove home. They arrived home and Ethan and Cal walked into the house. Ethan straightaway sat on the sofa. He was glad to be home.

"Right, do you want some lunch?" Ethan hesitated before answering.

"Yes please Cal, but make sure it has no less than 300 calories. I can't eat under 1200 calories a day. Especially if I want to exercise."

"Okay, I'll try my best." Cal smiled at Ethan before making their lunch. Cal was worried that Ethan wouldn't eat it. Cal quickly made the lunch and returned to Ethan.

"There we are Eth. Eat up because we need to see Lily." Ethan ate his lunch slowly. Cal didn't mind that he ate it slowly, as long as he finished it, that was fine. After lunch, they made their way to the ED. Ethan followed Cal into the ED and all the staff were happy to see him.

"Hey Ethan, how are you doing?" Robyn asked.

"I'm very well thank you Robyn."

"Welcome home sweetheart." Rita said as she gave Ethan a hug. Lily rounded the corner and was shocked when she saw Ethan in reception.

"Ethan?" Lily asked, still shocked that Ethan was back.

"Hey Lily, I'm back." Lily smiled and ran to Ethan. She pulled him into a hug.

"I'm so glad you're back."

"I'm glad to be back. I wanted to surprise you." They let go of each other and Ethan saw Lily had tears in her eyes.

"You did surprise me. I love you Doctor Hardy."

"I love you too, Doctor Chao." They shared a quick kiss and made their way into the staffroom.

"Are you ready to move in?" Lily nodded, she was excited that she could finally move in. "We'll get to yours early so we can help you move your stuff." Lily nodded her thanks and then looked at the clock.

"Oh my, I have to get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow Ethan." She quickly kissed him on the cheek before running off to find her next patient. Ethan made his way back to reception.

"Are you okay, Ethan?" Ethan nodded and looked at Cal.

"Let's go home Cal. I want to get a lot of rest before helping Lily move in tomorrow." Cal nodded and they waved goodbye to everyone before leaving and going home. When they got home, Cal and Ethan sat on the sofa. Ethan turned and faced Cal.

"I think this is the start of a new chapter. I'm healthy again, Lily is moving in and you have been the best brother in the world. Thank you Cal."

"No problem little brother. Now get some rest, and I'll make dinner tonight and don't worry, I know how many calories it has to be." Ethan chuckled before laying down on the sofa. He was happy to be home and this was the start of his new life.

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 **That's it everyone! I hope the ending was okay, I wasn't really sure how to end it. Anyway, thank you all again for everything and I will post the first chapter of the sequel in a couple of days! (when I can figure out a good title for it!) Goobye for now x**


	18. Sequel up and ready!

**Hey Everyone!**

 **Just to let you know, the sequel is now up! It's called 'new life'**

 **Thank you for all your support on this story and I hope you find the sequel as enjoyable!**

 **smish123x**


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